But I thought I would post anyway. I think reading some of the posts has cheered me up. I took the time to read the rules right after joining, so I can't be THAT depressed as these things go. I noticed that the points system doesn't currently make much sense (six points bans, but the only steps are at three and six points). I'm 38, and a dad. That's the thing-- I really would like some peace and quiet, but I'd feel too guilty. My kid would be destroyed. Sometimes I just don't even care much about even that, though. The thing is, I think that when we're gone, we're gone. So even though I care about him now, I wouldn't when I was gone. I don't really want some cheery welcome messages. See, I'm getting down again (I am having a drink and it makes me a little upsy-downsy, since I don't drink much). I think I came here wanting some misery. I have been sad for a long time. There's just not much of an upside in sight for me. I know that there is no way my life will improve. Duty can keep you going only so long. Anyway, I am a hard-bitten trooper sort of person. I'm not in any danger. I just have been thinking about it off and on at random times lately, and needed to vent a little in a safe way.