I have been going out with this girl for nearly three years now, I love her more than anything. She means absolutely everything to me. Nearly two years ago I kissed another girl at a party, it meant nothing to me it was a one off a mistake. We got through it although my girlfriend had major trust issues with me, due to how much I loved her and wanted her in my life I did whatever I could to keep her happy. I went a year not going out at nights without my girlfriend, I would get constant texts and calls asking me where I am, I could not do anything. But I stuck with it because I loved her and hoped that it would get better in time. Through all of this I became much closer to her and farther from my friends. It got to the point where she run my life. She was the only person I could talk to or anything, I had no one else whatsoever. Casually not too long ago we had another argument about me cheating, we decided to go on a break, still talking and seeing each other as usual (pointless I kno) but it was the only way I could be with her. We agreed we would go back out once she had finished her exams. Unlike me and the kind of person I am. I reacted badly to the thought of not being her boyfriend. I called her names and argued all the time. In the end she has said she does not want to talk to me til next week. It stupidly took me til now to realise what an idiot i have been She has changed but because of what we have gone through it seems I cannot live without her, she means absolutely everything to me and I cannot explain how much I love her. The thought of not being with her is making me have suicidal thoughts. I know everyone will be like there will be another one. But I don't want another one, going through so much I have become so attached to her. I cannot bare the thought of not being with her and her being with somebody else. I am constantly down and upset and I feel so lonely. Yet I cannot move on from her, I do not want to. Every minute feels like a year. I constantly think all day that I just want to die. I don't know what to do, I could not live without her.