don't mean to offend but how has people got over the sexual assualt/rape

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Nathan :), Mar 2, 2010.

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  1. Nathan :)

    Nathan :) Banned Member

    hi well sorry if this triggers or offends i don't mean to cause offence but how have people gotten over the sexual assualt/rape?
    Its just i am having the problem of not been able to move on,even saying the boys name makes me feel sick and seeing him is even worst.I have to see him as he goes to the same college as me so only way i can really avoid him is by not going but im not ruining my education because of him.
     
  2. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    Good on you for staying strong.no one should ever have to deal with it. you are much stronger than me. i have never got over it.
    have you reported it to the police? he should not be allowed to go to your college, if any at all!
    I dont really know what else to say on that front other than if you ever need to talk, im here :smile:
     
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    The people that I know who have moved on have seen specific sexual assualt and rape counsellors, some of whom have ended up doing their job because they too have been through sexual abuse. I would suggest trying to look into all the options in your area so you know what is available and then making a choice as to what you want to try first.
     
  4. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    In my opinion, it would be best for you to get to a counselor that specializes in sexual assault/ rape.

    I went to college and saw my rapist on campus... it almost cost me my degree, and it did harm me later mentally, because it wasn't dealt with at the time. It was horrible - please don't do that to yourself!

    Something like this has to be worked through... better sooner than later. Good luck! The most important thing is to take care of yourself!

    :hug:
     
  5. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    Get strong. Get phyisically active. Take a self defense course. Get involved in a rape and crisis program and volunteer. Make sure you talk to a professional. It will take a long time but you can beat this.

    The nightmares will sometimes come back. You may be prone to triggers. Dating is always going to be a little fucked up. You will have the urge and need to look over your shoulder alot. I cannot stress enough how being able to physically handle yourself in a violent situation will give you alot of power and strength.

    Focuse on helping others and get involved about statistics and prevention techniques. Get involved with the women's association at your Univeristy. Altough rape and sexual abuse aren't just a female promlem, it is unfonrtunate that its is so widely prevalent at College campuses.

    And remember if you back down and crumble he wins! DO NOT LET HIM WIN! BE STRONG AND SURVIVE!
     
  6. LSD

    LSD Well-Known Member

    mmmmmmmmm..
    its like a very but very bad day that you will never forget
    you are okie at times
    but then.. the memory comes back.. so does the feeling
    and its like falling in the same hole .. and you just have to climb all over again..
    but the hole is always there.. you never know when you will fall again..
    and knowing that you might fall again.. makes you think about it again..
    so its .. hard i guess


    it took me many years to first admit what happened
    and when i thought i was going throw it...
    bum... sexually molested again

    i have this horrible feeling
    cuz i know it might happen again
    .. when you think you are trying to forget..
    something always happen
     
  7. Danger Mouse

    Danger Mouse New Member

    There is no magic path to getting past something so horrible. Different people will deal with it in different ways, but I can't see anyone being able to completly get over something that big.

    Don't push yourself, don't feel you have to get over it.

    Be kind to yourself
     
  8. Nathan :)

    Nathan :) Banned Member

    i have counselling but i don't feel its really working,as i am thinking that if i tell her details of what happened which is what i want to do i want to talk to her about everything so i can just get it all out,but what am i suppose to do? i don't want to upset her,just because i need to talk about the details don't mean to say she wants to hear them.I know theres no magical path i wish there was,its so hard dealing with this rubbish.
     
  9. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Counselors are trained to "hear it all" - in order to help you get it out and show you that just because what was done to you was rotten - that doesn't mean you are rotten - the rapist is. The counselor should feel privileged that you trust them and want to hear you out in order to help you.

    Take care of yourself...

    It is hard! :hug:
     
  10. Nathan :)

    Nathan :) Banned Member

    i feel i am going to fail this course cause of all the stress im under due to the sexual assualt,i finish the course in june of this year,i don't know what to do anymore,i need to pass this course to go onto the higher level :(,the guy that sexually assualted me has some special needs,so am i right in thinking he still knows what he is doing? please reply quickly im in tears writing this.
     
  11. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    hon, i have been down this road several times in my life. even if he has special needs there is no excuse for him doing what he did. he is very well aware of what he did could be why he has special needs.

    please don't let this take you down. you have come far to far to let this beat you. it can be worked through. very very seldom does my situations spark emotions in me. when it does it's strong definately, but it passes. i would encourage you to tell your counselor the whole story cause that would make you feel better. it's like it was said already they are trained to hear that sort of stuff.

    so please just hang in there and keep doing what you know you need to. take care of you, and please don't let this get the best of you via your education. then he will win in the end. you can do it. you have come this far you can finish the school race. please take care and if you need to chat please feel free to pm.
     
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