I am just never going to get better, its been years. Every iteration is worse. Its been a long time since I let anyone new into my life, I'm so afraid of disappointing anyone else. what to do? its so easy, but so hard. i gave up on myself a couple yrs ago, i was just hoping someone else would save me...but thats just selfish and unfair and I get mad at myself for that...and for not doing anything...and for the tears i cry every weekend. Weekends and summers are the worst, Durkheim was right. I don't have anyone to talk to right now. Just hoping this will make me feel a pinch better. I love you all.