dont pretend u care

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by *dilligaf*, Jul 21, 2007.

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  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    im pretty certain i have enough to do it now. why the hell did i tell him to go sleep in THAT room, he could have had this one, or mine. why send him to the one with the pills in? i cant get them without waking him up i dont think. i want them, i NEED them. need this pain to stop, need this feeling to stop, need this life to stop.
    no one on here even cares anymore (with the exception of - vikki - and TheAM) its just been proved to me. maybe everyone is bored eh. bored of me, just like i am.
    its my nans birthday today, the first major anniversary since she died, we all went to the cemetery, hate it. hate what happened to her. im lying in her bed right now, in the EXACT place she died. i want to go to her. would be quite ironic if i died in the same place really wouldnt it. :mellow:
    ive upset the person i love.
    ive done something stupid.
    ive reopened up feelings that should have died.
    im a mess
    a failure
    fat
    worthless
    useless
    weak
    horrible
    nasty
    better off dead...
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    sam there are many people here that care about you. I am one of them. I know how difficult it must be on this day. First anniversaries of everything are so hard. Especially when it is someone you love soooo much. I am not bored with you in anyway. I feel thankful that you have opened up here and allowed to try and support you where we could. Please don't give up. We dod care, whether your minds allows you to believe that or not. :hug:
     
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    It hurts when you say the only people here that care about you are viks and theam...because truthfully I care about you personally. I wouldn't be happy to see you when you come into chat or when we finally do get to catch up. I know a ton of other people that care about you too hun and I hope you know that we are here to support you.

    I'm sorry you are so down and out please know that I am here if you do need to vent and you have no one else to turn to. Please feel free to PM or MSN me.

    Kells
     
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thanks Gentle :hug:

    Sorry if I offended you Kells, wasnt my intention :hug:
     
  5. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Im sorry to see you in so much pain i may not know you to well but i to understAND HOW PAINFUL ANNIVERSARYS CAN BE HANG IN THERE PEOPLE DO CARE LOTS OF THEM
     
  6. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    oh hun sam im not offended im sorry i made it seem like that. I'm sorry. I only meant to say that so you knew that i did care. :hug:
     
  7. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    VERY deep down i know theres a few people on here that care, it was something in chat that set that rant off, im sorry. i shudnt have said no one cares. but it really feels like that sometimes in chat. guess the right people arent in there eh :hug:
     
  8. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry I didn't say anything hun - I'm in a really bad way myself right now :sad: :hug:
     
  9. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Am here for you darling, Kells is right, there are a lot of other people here that do care about you. I NEED you to be safe while im away for those 2 weeks darling. As you know im thinking about refusing to go because i don't wanna be away from you and i'm gonna be REALLY worried about you. You haven't upset me. I just hope you know how much ima miss you and that i'll be counting the days down till i get back.

    I know its a lot of pills, trust me i was VERY tempted when you got them out but rememebr what you told me? you was gonna give them to your mum. Just remember how bad your reaction is to those pills. What i had to do when you took some? told me to remind you to NEVER take them pills again. You know i have your mums number and i will tell your mum that you have them if you don't give them to her.

    I can't loose you and you KNOW how much it would hurt me if i did. I love you so damn much and im willing do to anything humanly possible to make you happy. Even if it means bring back a bottle of vodka for ya :tongue:

    Love you sweetie
     
  10. thething912

    thething912 Well-Known Member

  11. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Sam, I care. :hug:
     
  12. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    sorry bout that, as i said was having a feeling sorry for myself moment. i WANT to believe no one cares about me because it wud be easier to do something. and i try to convince myself of that, even when i know its not true. :hugs: 's to all.
     
  13. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Sam..just had a thought (yeah Terry had a thought:dry::laugh:)
    With Viks off to sun herself in Turkey..you might start feeling a bit adrift..so if this happens pop a pm to me or flag me up on googletalk...DON'T just sit there and be miserable! Get it ! Got it ! GOOD!!

    :hug:
     
  14. Azul

    Azul Well-Known Member

    Well it's difficult to care for someone that is distant (it's the reason why things like the war in iraq is so easily accepted these days - it happens far away, there is no face to face combat anymore but bombing and shooting.) But if I knew you, if I was face to face with you, I'd care.
     
  15. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    thanks both

    thanks Terry, i might do that :)
     
  16. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Sam I care also and I don't think you were feeling sorry for yourself instead you were hurting and maybe crying out for some much deserved comfort and support.
     
  17. me1

    me1 Well-Known Member


    Lots of people care about you. Not just me and Vikki. Some people dont know you in person, dont deal with you everyday and maybe simply dont realise how bad you are at any given time or else they would reach out to you. But they still care. Some people (pricks) think it funny to write that they wont pretend to care, in response to your post too. Ignore them honey. We all care, hugs.
     
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