I don't know how much longer I can put up with being isolated like this. I could explain everything but it won't matter because no one will understand because I've tried before and no one understood. I wish I had a less cynical view of life, but unfortunately the things I believe are most probably true so I just try to keep them out of my mind. This is hard to do however when I have pretty much nothing to live for, and can't get a job anywhere. I can fake being normal and happy, but I don't think I can fake it much more. Behind all this fabricated shit that is my personality my head's a fucking mess and I don't know where to turn anymore.