Don't really know what to say

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ljt, Jun 9, 2014.

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  1. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member

    I sometimes sit and wonder to myself what I can do to take this feeling to end things away. I wonder if it's actually what I want to do or part of my brain telling me I want to do it. I am very confused.
    I know that my future would be bland and uninteresting so if I was to do something to end things then my future would be blank and then I would be at peace.

    I walk around and things pop into my head on how to do it but something always stops me but I feel I am getting closer and closer and I won't be able to go back.
  2. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Guest

    At some level, it has to be you brain telling you things. My noggin does so. I will risk a small bit of philosophy. The only thing about a blank future (nonexistence) is that it can't be peaceful. Peace is something, and nonexistence is nothing.

    I imagine things are rough for you right now. I hope you are safe. You deserve the best in life, no matter what happens or what you may have done.

    ~ :butterfly4:
  3. nessa456

    nessa456 Active Member

    Have you spoken to your Dr or anyone else about how you feel?
  4. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    A couple of things on that. You only think that right now to be true. Life has taught me that the unexpected does happen eventually and that you can't predict where your going or what is going to happen. You might say right now it looks that way, but things can change so fast and life has such unpredictability that you will never see it coming. The fact that you're insightful into your own thoughts I think makes you interesting.

    Also, what exactly is interesting anyway? We often know only so much as to what culture and society tells us, but there's so much more to life than our job or your experiences or your travels, etc... I think what makes life interesting are your thoughts. People can have all the money or vacations or friends or experiences, but those things can be so fleeting and just so momentary.

    One day you're going to get through this time in your life and you're going to have such a deeper understanding of yourself and of human thought. Just don't give in to whatever your brain is trying to tell you. Keep posting on here. I think the more you do that the more you'll be able to sit back and really analyze your thoughts from a new perspective. In the least it can be very therapeutic. I know sometimes this isn't possible, but talking to a professional can be a great thing, too. You do matter, and don't let anyone, and especially your head, tell you otherwise. You have a lot to offer this world!
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, Ljt. Do not worry, as overthinking does not help. You need to relax and just be yourself. By the way, PM me anytime. Have a nice day and take care... :)
  6. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    their was a thread on here a while ago, do you really want suicide?. or do you just want a change

    your situation reminds me of that. i don't think you want to kill yourself, you just want better outcomes
  7. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member

    Hi. Thanks for your messages. I have spoken to a GP about it and due to go back next week. I usually clam up and say everything is fine so I don't make a fuss. I did speak to a friend but as most of you know that didn't work out very well and makes me feel I have no one to turn to.

    Jv3: I understand your post but for me I struggle to see a way out sometimes. I don't look for anything good to happen as I don't have anything to look forward to. Think that's what makes matters worse in a way

    Part of me does want to end things and another part doesn't but it's not because I want better outcomes. I just want this feeling to stop and let me get on with my dull life. I would understand if I was wanting a promotion at work or something but I would say I don't have any specific reason for feeling fed up and depressed all the time.
  8. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad to hear you have at least spoken to a GP. I know it's hard to talk to even one of them, though, but definitely try to be as honest as possible with them next time. You've been very honest on here, so just say what you've told us. I don't think you have to have a reason to be depressed, either. You can't help how you feel all the time, but there are a lot of different things that can potentially help you. Sometimes it's as simple as a few counseling sessions, and sometimes it can be taking medication, but there are things that can help. It's just trial and error sometimes in finding what works best for you.

    It's also understandable that you don't see a way out. I've been there, and I'm sure a lot of others on this forum have been, too. I guess what I try to convey is, I've been on that side of not seeing things getting better for me, not expecting it, and being so depressed and numb to the point where I didn't care if anything did happen. People told me it would get better, and I didn't believe them or just was in a place where I couldn't see how. I can't promise you when or if or how it can happen, but I can tell you it can get better.

    You seem like a really nice person, Ljt. I'm definitely pulling for you!
  9. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Ljt, please be brave, it's tough but we are all suffering. Just be careful and keep posting for support.
  10. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your comments. I will let you know how I get on.
  11. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member

    Really wish I could die right now. Sick fed up with life
  12. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I'm sorry you feel like this, how did the doctors go?
  13. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member

    I go on Tuesday. Kept putting it off. I am dreading it as I think I will just clam up and say nothing
  14. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I've had that fear, I guess you have to go in with the mindset, I don't want to feel like this any more I want to get better, and give it a go hard as hell but give yourself that chance it's just one appointment don't think any further then that, and of course keep posting here if it helps.
  15. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member

    Hi perfect thanks for your comments. I hope I can tell them how I feel but I don't know if it will go well.
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