Don't see any reason not to end it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Baldr, Oct 23, 2012.

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  1. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    I just don't see why I should keep going on, I don't enjoy anything anymore, school keeps adding pressure, family sucks, I keep losing friends and I miss my best friend so much :cry:
    I feel like being able to talk to people will help a little bit but I know that's not true because I wasn't happy when I could either
    I don't really see why I post this really.. last time it only showed me how little people care for me
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am sorry that we do not know each other...what is going on? And what relationships have you established in the past that you found were not helpful? Hoping you can express to those you do care about, that you want them to support you...sometimes, people do not know how to behave in a situation and they need a person's guidance to know what to do
  3. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    what do you mean about those relationships..?
    I don't know what would help me though :(
    I'm sorry :(
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Hello nowVince.. Know things rough for now.. Many people on here that care about you sir.. That will not change!!! What has to change is the way you act with ppl sometimes.. This going to need some thought and efforts on your part..

    This can happen with some help..things can get better Vince.. I care sir..stay safe..Jim
  5. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    I know it has to change, but I don't see why it would make me happier :(
  6. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Baldrrrrrrr, it seems like there are a lot of losses (old and new), and changes to your social life (old and new) that you are holding onto all at once... and it's overwhelming you.

    It's to a level that even you are seeing... that now when you talk to others, you no longer feel better either. People are trying to comfort you, they are reaching out... but you are not hearing it, because you are holding on so strongly to all of these social changes you are going through... but some of them you need to loosen the grip a bit on, and others, you need to slowly let pass.

    I told you this in the recent past, that mistakes do happen, or things go on... but that you have to be able to come back and just BE again... the chat room was a good example of that. You already know how I feel about it, I already spoke to you a bit about it.

    You were welcomed back, people want you there... but you just were holding onto this other social happening, so strongly and tightly, that nothing anyone said anymore about that, and no amount of encouragement... was reaching you.
  7. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm sorry :(
    I guess you're right, but being in chat doesn't really make me happy either :(
    sometimes talking to people does, but only when I feel cared for, and I only feel cared for when I feel like someone loves me :(
  8. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Baldr... you have to try and push the insecurities down, because right now they are pushing you down, and are holding you back. They are keeping you from laughing, from healing, from ... anything.

    You also need to push down, and get a grip on your fears and doubts, ESPECIALLY your doubts, because they are also holding you hostage.

    I am not sure that we can even be useful to you, or encourage you usefully, or anything that you need... until you karate chop those issues to smitherines... well maybe not to smitherines, but hey, you know what I mean. Just get a grip on the fact of what is going on inside your head and heart a bit.

    Notice that this is NOT you talking... and this is NOT what you want... and that you really feel like you have no control. But why do you feel that way?

    You feel that way, because other things inside you are running the show, but they are not supposed to be doing it. You let those things, over time, sort of take over, but didn't notice until it's at this stage. But that doesn't mean that you can't do something about it now that it's at this stage.

    I want you to sit down and assess how accurate your feelings and thoughts about your situations and about your social life really are.... you need to ask "is this even logical, or is this an insecurity of mine being played out to scare me?"

    You need to ask "Is this a truth, and a solid fact... or is this one of my worst fears, that I am feeding and believing?"

    I suspect you will find that many of the things in your recent history, will end up being not so truthful, but rather things you have been telling yourself, or maybe believing... or jumping to very strict and heavy conclusions... based on either an insecurity you have on a deeper level, or a very deep fear that you had been feeding by growing more and more doubtful as time passed.

    You CAN be happy again, and you can be many things... but you must first pick apart what is actually a fact, from what is a feeling... and then you must pay attention to what is going on inside you, and try to understand it, and get a grip on it.

    You deserve better than to be ravaged by your own self... because that is what is going on here, and you CAN fix that.
  9. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    but it's really hard :(
    and every time I try to tell myself that one thing is just me, more things pop up, so I just kindof give up :(
  10. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I just don't see why I should keep going on, I don't enjoy anything anymore, school keeps adding pressure, family sucks, I keep losing friends and I miss my best friend so much
    I feel like being able to talk to people will help a little bit but I know that's not true because I wasn't happy when I could either
    I don't really see why I post this really.. last time it only showed me how little people care for me

    Baldr, forgive me for taking a gander at your profile, but I noticed that you were fifteen years old.
    Being that young, I can relate to you, back in the day when I was that age, how everything seemed hopeless and that nothing would change in your life, because of your daily experiences, but if you (or any young person for that matter) allows things like school pressure and a bad family environment (to which i am only assuming, because you said that your home life 'sucks' but I hope you will take some advice and really think it over, that while things are difficult for you now, you are looking only at what is now and the the future. Sure, things could be as bad as you say, but you should at least look to the future, of when you finally leave school and eventually move out of home into your place.
    I know it matters a lot to you now, because you have a fair ways to go in your schooling education, but (I know that this will seem like it will solve nothing) you should pay no mind to what other people think of you - you family or your friends. I get the feeling that you are bullied in school, and i know that can be rough, because I experienced much the same in my high school days, but I am sure you have a dream for the future of what you want to do with your life and what you have to go through in school and then when you get home m=can make you feel worthless and amount to nothing, but regardless, however bad it gets, you should always continue with your dream and work for it, because school only last for another three years (that is, if you do not plan on going to university, and if you buckle down and focus on your studies and just let the words and actions of people who try and bring you down, then not only your future dream suffers, but you will suffer emotional torment that can follow you for the rest of your life.
    You are young, you have so may opportunities right now to chance your fate that I unfortunately did not do and I would very much hate to see someone else follow the Road that I took in life.
    Some days can be worse than others, but you should not let what anyone says, be they classmates or family influence your way of thinking about yourself and strive to be the best person that you can be.
    You have so much potential that you should not let the words or actions of certain individuals from obtaining your goals.
    And, while it might seem that not very much people care about you, that is only what you think; have you given any thought that some of those people do and say what they do because they do not come close to the ability and aspirations that you have?
    It does not matter that you talk with other people with their own problems and try and try and help them, despite your own mind set, the important thing is that that you have helped people and, if they say so or not, you should take pride that you were able to let them walk away after talking to you to feel better better about what their problem was. Your kindness in helping other people, no matter who they are, is one of your greatest strengths and you should be proud that you were able to make just one person feel good about themselves. You should be happy that you have been able to help someone, despite how you are feeling, because it proves that you are the kind of person who puts other people's needs before yourself and, that, to me is one of the greatest things that anyone could have.

    And you know, that if you ever wish to talk about anything, even if it is just to drop by with a private message in my Inbox, just to say "G'day" (or the Dutch equivalent of "hallo" or "goededag". you are almost most welcomed any time.
  11. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    You've got your whole life ahead of you Baldr, please keep fighting, try to find one thing every day to hold on for and get professional help as well :hug:

    My inbox and visitor messages are always open if you need a one on one chat :hug:
  12. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Don't blame yourself for it... I never said say "oh, it's just me... my fault"... I said go deeper than that, and figure out, if what you are feeling and believing in the moment about a concern you have, is a fact... and secondly... is it a fear or insecurity. Thirdly, you would then have to address the idea that this fear or insecurity (because it's less likely to be a fact, and more likely to be a fear, doubt, or insecurity) is not the truth, and work from there.
  13. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Vince :sad:


    I just stopped here to forum to give you a :hug: and let you know you are missed in chat. Come back and get support.
  14. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    * hugs Kali *
    but Samara, it's really hard and every time I'm trying it new things come.. :(
    and I don't really have the energy anymore :(
  15. rebecca7297

    rebecca7297 New Member

    i know how you feel but there are people out there who you can relate to and who can help you through this i know i dont know you but am pretty sure if you did end it all people who know you would be heartbroken and i dont think you would want someone else to feel the same pain people like us go through everyday. Just look how many people have replied to this post this shows you how much people do care for you. "To be honest with you, I don't have the words to make you feel better, but I do have the arms to give you a hug, ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about, and I have a heart; a heart that's aching to see you smile again." am always here for a chat if you feel down
  16. Baldr

    Baldr Moderator Staff Member Safety & Support

    ye, it's helped that so many people replied, the last thread I made no-one really replied
    you don't happen to be my best friend who made a new account..? heh :(
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