Dont understand

[Winter Blues]

How can pain be this bad when its not self inflicted .. I cut myself - the pain is manageable. Folk manipulate you and the pain is unbearable. I want to send huge love and enormous respect to all of you who cope - all of you who support others. All of you who have laughter and jokes somewhere in your souls - I love you all - I just feel a waste of space and it is truly only fear that there may be another life after this that keeps me here. More of this fcking shit and I don't know what I would do.

 

[Winter Blues]

I am sorry that you are struggling with this, may I answer part of the question is that our minds know what is coming when we are in charge, examples would be with everything from encouraging kids to give themselves the "ucky medicine" or as adults who have to do blood sugar tests or insulin injections. It is better if we do it ourselves.
I believe that you do have the makings of laughter in your soul as well as any. The new research that confirms and looks at the human mind and how it responds to a fake laugh is proof.. You can spend 5 minutes in private practising a big deep belly laugh- (as if we were an actress on stage) and get the same benefits as some one who laughs with a friend. Blood pressure goes down- heart rate goes down and endorphins are released whether it is real or fake. I hope that you might be interested to try it out for yourself. There are lots of places for support though through counselling or church / community resources or even state health that might help- daily support through sites like a 12 step program can be useful for all of us too. Many Blessings

Dear Ahealthyhope, thank you so, so much for replying. I’m in a really bad space right now but I’m aware that hopefully I can put this behind me somehow and plant a fake smile on my face. Many blessings and huge hugs to you xx

 

[Woowoo]

Hey Winter, I'm sorry you're in such a bad place right now

I know how much it hurts when people manipulate you, or let you down. The emotional pain feels like it will rip you apart. And it's so difficult to deal with. If we have a physical pain we can take a painkiller, but unfortunately ibuprofen doesn't work on emotional pain. Other people are the source of so much hurt, but ultimately that just demonstrates that we are loving, kind people. If we didn't care it wouldn't hurt so much.

Anyway, I'm rambling. What am I trying to say... well I feel your pain. I've been there. Sometimes, when the pain is raw, it feels like it will never go away, but I've learnt that it lessens with time. We all have to find our own coping strategies, whether that's medication, therapy, mindfulness, being artistic or having a hobby or whatever it may be. I have learnt to cope with a combination of these, but I still have dark days when I am reminded of the pain that others have inflicted.

Winter, you know that I love you. You most certainly are NOT a waste of space. You are a wonderful human being. The loving kindness you show to others on SF is amazing. You will find a way to cope with your pain. Have you sought any professional help?

Anyway, keep going my lovely. We are all here right beside you, walking your journey with you. We will support you and catch you if you fall. Things WILL get better and laughter WILL return to your soul. Lots of love and big hugs xxx

 

[Walker]

You are not a waste of space!! {{{{hugs}}}}

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

@Winter Blues

HUGS. Truly do value your feedback to so many members on here and that alone shows your great character. Definitely you are your own worst critic. Be kind to yourself the same way you show kindess to others.

HUGS again! Hope you are able to have a better week

 

[Deety]

I don't have anything helpful worth saying but I wanted to let you know that I don't think you are a waste of space. Hugs to you (((Winter Blues)))

 

[Petal]

Sorry you are struggling, I know words can affect us in many different ways, people's actions can take their toll on you but good news, there's million of folks who are kind hearted and high spirited and would not put anyone down,I totally can see where you are coming from though, I'm very sensitive but I'm always here if you need a chat.