i messed up, i know i did, and it doesnt matter how many times i get told its ok i wont forgive myself. i saw her at the time, i know how much i have hurt her. and i cant get over that. why care though? its sam. pathetic, uncaring, thoughtless, cold hearted sam who doesnt deserve love, who doesnt deserve to be happy. sam deserves pain and to not be here. guess i could still have that eh. ive told two people just HOW bad im feeling tonight, one said i was depressing them and left, the other just logged out. yes, i know a certain person will answer this and tell me how much they care etc, i know you do. and i feel all the same things about you. so maybe if i do it itll stop you being hurt by me? who knows, i dont anymore. all i know is i dont wanna fight.