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Don't want this anymore

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I don't want this anymore. I'm tired of being invisible, a ghost.
I'm tired of laying in bed 'til late at night and not being able to fall asleep. I don't want this anymore. Stress levels are going through the roof. I hate myself and my body. I hate EDs. I hate Social Anxiety. I hate myself. I'm done, I don't want this anymore.


Well-Known Member
I see you!

So - no - your not a ghost.

Your depressed - but that's why you feel invisible because you want to be invisible sometimes.

However people are sociable creatures - we need that comfort of company and love also. Being isolated is not a good thing - unless you want to just live in the hills which is fine if you can - and good if its good for you.

but I've lived in solitude - camping out - man of the land - but could not last more than a week - I sought company - and actually went a bit 'native' not washing - bare chested - dirt on my face, hair all over the place and a short beard!

Two weeks and I would laid traps and lured people into a war - for the company!

Not so much Rambo - more like some English guy - who does not take steroids!

Anyhow - social anxiety - I did have this - and HATED walking into a room of new people. Now - I have some anxiety - but always just walk towards any door and don't care who is there - I just know that no matter what anyone has been taught - they aint not better than me!!!

So - I can talk to anyone now.

I do play guitar and a gig - or a date - actually could make me nervous - pace the room beforehand - work out!

And stay away from drink and drugs.

and as for insomnia - I have EPIC insomnia. Always have had - and never took anything I just go with it - and if I cannot sleep I will do something.

Exercise helps. And if you got a lover or boyfriend - I'll say no more there. A massage would help a lot - I can say that.

Talking to someone also - I think you did mention you had a boyfriend so if so (sorry if I'm wrong) I have to say - well its obvious - if we choose to love someone and they love us ALWAYS tell them about feeling suicidal.

At the very least I'm glad you shared here and hope you can find some small measure of comfort in what we say to advise you.

Do get help - don't just keep it all in.

Talk to people.

talk to us.
I'm a (heterosexual) boy, so no, I didn't/don't have a boyfriend, but it's okay. :tongue:

I don't have anyone I can talk to, I don't have any friends, haven't had any ever since the only (few) friends I had were bullying me.
I know its difficult when you dont have anyone IRL to talk to, but try to reach out to us here :hug: You can drop me a PM on the forum or in chat anytime you need to speak.

Hope things pick up soon!
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