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don't want to be alone but lack a voice :(

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by 41021, Apr 11, 2011.

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  1. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    i don't know which pain is worse
    or the pain i am going through knowing i have no life like this
    knowing i have to do something
    escape this

    i just don't want to be alone right now...which is out of character for me...i like being alone.
    and i am so scared
    and miss. independent me wants to be held...something i never want

    i guess being alone in pain just doesn't work

    don't know why i am posting, because it is difficult to type and can't guarantee i can respond.

    my apologies
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni


    As one who was once an independant bod, too independant in some ways, I can relate to how you are feeling.
    It's weird to suddenly find yourself desperately needing others.
    Am assuming you are in physical pain as well as mental.
    Physical pain wears a person down, makes you feel vunerable and needy.
    Don't beat yourself up because you need people.
    My PM box is always open for a chat.
  3. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Hello, Kali.

    I'm sincerely sorry you're suffering this much pain. My heart goes out to you.

    If nothing else, we'll always be here for you, and will help you whenever you need it.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Kali it is hard to reach out for those hugs i know but sometime so necessary I am here okay i mean it you are not alone in this fight I hear your voice i do hugs to you
  5. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    I know exactly where you're coming from.

    Consider this: You can independently ask for help - by instigating the helping process, you maintan your own identity and sense of self...
  6. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    the physical pain is bad
    i managed to get pc next to bed, so i may lay and turn my head to see.

    i can handle a lot of pain but this is just too much for even me, the one who can easily ignore pain. laying here does not ease it, but it has zapped me to where i can do nothing, eat drink stand walk nothing

    I just want to go outside
    i want to work
    i want to do what i am supposed to be doing

    instead i lay hear all day sobbing, not crying but sobbing

    i have always been so strong
    this i do not have the strength for

    i want out. i don't want to feel this anymore please?

    i am scared
  7. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

  8. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    ty for hugs


    don't even know what to say
    just need ppl right now and i never need ppl

    i need to stop the trembling and shaking
    if i am supposed to die just let me die
  9. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
  10. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    do you have somebody who is there to help you?

    i can tell you when i was on the other side (my friend needed a lot of help to get through something) i didn't mind at all...if anything, helping her helped me get through my own problems...so don't be afraid to ask for help...there's people out there who love helping other people, and i guarantee they don't get the opportunity as much as they want to...

    hang in there

    hugs to you!
  11. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I understand and it is awful...you have my number..please text me if you need someone...J
  12. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we love you!! i wish i was there.
  13. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    thank you everyone
    i am utterly frustrated
    i have always been working and doing
    to be stuck, and of all places stuck inside is far too much for me
    and the bloody pain, ffs what kind of life is this?

    just thank you for not leaving me alone...i could not handle being alone this time
    not stuck behind these four walls, it just became overwhelming

    i'm not used to feeling any need for people

    ***hugs*** all
    hope you are all doing better :console:
  14. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey you Hope today gets a little easier here if you ever need to just rant okay hugs
  15. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    i am working on it
  16. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    Sending you a puppy - he may look a little hyper but he just wants to see you

  17. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    so does bubbs jr. but can't handle having him in room :(
    and my jana is depressed
  18. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    hugs for you

    head scratches for jana
  19. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    I'll be away for a bit.

    i have to go downstairs to retrieve a few items.

    .although i have always felt, that it's the only way...we leave alone. we don't hurt others. honestly, i don't want to be alone, yet it is inevitable.

    back in a little while. too much pain to do this quickly

    love and hugs
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 13, 2011
  20. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    we'll be here

    and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be alone

    i don't want to be alone either

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