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don't want to be alone but lack a voice :(

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41021

Banned Member
#1
i don't know which pain is worse
physical
or the pain i am going through knowing i have no life like this
knowing i have to do something
escape this

i just don't want to be alone right now...which is out of character for me...i like being alone.
and i am so scared
and miss. independent me wants to be held...something i never want

i guess being alone in pain just doesn't work

don't know why i am posting, because it is difficult to type and can't guarantee i can respond.

my apologies
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#2
:hug:

As one who was once an independant bod, too independant in some ways, I can relate to how you are feeling.
It's weird to suddenly find yourself desperately needing others.
Am assuming you are in physical pain as well as mental.
Physical pain wears a person down, makes you feel vunerable and needy.
Don't beat yourself up because you need people.
My PM box is always open for a chat.
 

solutions

Well-Known Member
#3
Hello, Kali.

I'm sincerely sorry you're suffering this much pain. My heart goes out to you.

If nothing else, we'll always be here for you, and will help you whenever you need it.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#4
Kali it is hard to reach out for those hugs i know but sometime so necessary I am here okay i mean it you are not alone in this fight I hear your voice i do hugs to you
 
#5
I know exactly where you're coming from.

Consider this: You can independently ask for help - by instigating the helping process, you maintan your own identity and sense of self...
 

41021

Banned Member
#6
the physical pain is bad
i managed to get pc next to bed, so i may lay and turn my head to see.

i can handle a lot of pain but this is just too much for even me, the one who can easily ignore pain. laying here does not ease it, but it has zapped me to where i can do nothing, eat drink stand walk nothing


I just want to go outside
i want to work
i want to do what i am supposed to be doing

instead i lay hear all day sobbing, not crying but sobbing

i have always been so strong
this i do not have the strength for

i want out. i don't want to feel this anymore please?

i am scared
 

41021

Banned Member
#8
ty for hugs

ugh

don't even know what to say
just need ppl right now and i never need ppl

i need to stop the trembling and shaking
if i am supposed to die just let me die
 

plshelpme

Well-Known Member
#10
do you have somebody who is there to help you?

i can tell you when i was on the other side (my friend needed a lot of help to get through something) i didn't mind at all...if anything, helping her helped me get through my own problems...so don't be afraid to ask for help...there's people out there who love helping other people, and i guarantee they don't get the opportunity as much as they want to...

hang in there

hugs to you!
 

41021

Banned Member
#13
thank you everyone
i am utterly frustrated
i have always been working and doing
to be stuck, and of all places stuck inside is far too much for me
and the bloody pain, ffs what kind of life is this?

just thank you for not leaving me alone...i could not handle being alone this time
not stuck behind these four walls, it just became overwhelming

i'm not used to feeling any need for people

***hugs*** all
hope you are all doing better :console:
 

41021

Banned Member
#19
I'll be away for a bit.

i have to go downstairs to retrieve a few items.

.although i have always felt, that it's the only way...we leave alone. we don't hurt others. honestly, i don't want to be alone, yet it is inevitable.

back in a little while. too much pain to do this quickly

love and hugs
 
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