• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

don't want to be alone but lack a voice :(

Status
Not open for further replies.

41021

Banned Member
#41
can try but i will just cry and it will scare him to death his best friend killed himself in front of him.

i'm so afraid to talk
i'm so afraid of everything

i don't feel so good
 

Ritsu

Well-Known Member
#42
*hug I know kali but please do it you are a strong loving caring person with a wicked intelagence you are a loving devoted mother you have so much to give you gave me so much last night you were for me you have a pride they are here for you they feel your pain they want to help you are a proud lioness do not go just yet talk to him you told me last night you so wanted that hug of him more than anything and while its not the hug it will give you strentgh you will get there please prove us meeting was fate and let your pride who love you so much in I know you are having trouble finding the words but you have them
 

Ritsu

Well-Known Member
#44
*hug awww hunie I am so sorry I know your reasons I know why you want to I will not try to take your choice away from you its yours just please talk to your son before you do even if its just to tell him you love him and you miss him my mom told me today after finding out that the thing that hurt the most is I did not phone her and tell her I love her and I miss her
 

41021

Banned Member
#47
i am scared to death
those are my words

i can't stop sobbing

i'm sure it is over

what hurts, is my son.
but he will understand

i go over and over in my head, what my grandfather, joel, frank went through
frank sat with it for days on end on several occasions over a period of months, just as joel did (sorry edit out if i fucked up again i didn't mean too)

see i can't talk i can't make any good judgement calls
all my judgement calls are poor and suck dirt...my words suck dirt it's not intentional...pro life site i should not be here...i can't talk right...my words are fucked up

it's raw
it's from pain
if you know pain...you understand
kind of hard to have much self control
my apologies

i just...
ugh

hold me i am afraid, i hurt, i have to do this :sad:
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#48
No you don't have to you have to call crisis and you have to think of your son
get help stay there until you are stable so your son will not have to feel the pain you are in he will always have that tendancie for suicide if you do it
call crisis now and go in to hospital where there is h elp hugs
 

41021

Banned Member
#49
this is an extremely complicated complex medical situation
there is no fix for this
there is nothing they can do for this
they created it

i don't want to go somewhere and see those who fucked me up in the first place

i'm not generally prone to depression...but i do know when my life has ended when it is over and i can no longer function...i cannot even think properly
they cannot help that matter of fact likely they will fuck me up again or kill me
great way to commit suicide is go check into a hospital...they are arrogant and will think they know everything, they won't listen, they will cut, and the first cut will do it. i'll die. rather die at home. not a bloody hospital. if i could find the video of my guts, they might perhaps listen but always some arrogant son of a bitch will come along scalpel crazy.

i am not angry with you ***hugs** I understand where you are coming from but you do not have all the information.
...i am angry for not seeing the grass for not seeing the sky for not being able to make sense, for not being able to see the horses or wildlife i'm angry i can't brush my hair, wash my freaking face, put clean clothing on, get up and frigging walk...for that i am angry because i am this way due to someone's arrogance

but anger will get me nowhere....

only one way out of this bloody mess
 

Ritsu

Well-Known Member
#51
I agree with total hon I know your pain I know what it feels like we went through it together last night and came through it together you must fight would your grandpa want you to he would hate you I realised my soul mate would hate me she wants me to fight to live life for us both to show thr world what its lost and to enjoy what it has for both of us please please call them and your words are not useless they are wonderfull they show how you feel they are you they are not wrong they are just the way you feel.
 

41021

Banned Member
#52
i would end up at a medical facility
they will kill me there


would rather be at home for that and by my hand, not some stupid freaking surgeon

xxx
 

Ritsu

Well-Known Member
#53
*hug kali I am so sorry so very sorry I wish you peace I wish you love and I wish you freedom I said from the start I would never take your choice away *hug thankyou for helping me you are a wondefull person
 

Ritsu

Well-Known Member
#55
I understood from the very begining hon *hug may you be happy and at peace it is not the end jsut a new story if you run into my kitty kat while you are up there you will know her right away tell her, her wolfie misses her every day and will make her so very proud and you have a spot in my book ok hon the lioness needed a name and personality I hope that will honour you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$740.00
Goal
$255.00
Top