don't want to be alone but lack a voice :(
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I know kali but please do it you are a strong loving caring person with a wicked intelagence you are a loving devoted mother you have so much to give you gave me so much last night you were for me you have a pride they are here for you they feel your pain they want to help you are a proud lioness do not go just yet talk to him you told me last night you so wanted that hug of him more than anything and while its not the hug it will give you strentgh you will get there please prove us meeting was fate and let your pride who love you so much in I know you are having trouble finding the words but you have them awww hunie I am so sorry I know your reasons I know why you want to I will not try to take your choice away from you its yours just please talk to your son before you do even if its just to tell him you love him and you miss him my mom told me today after finding out that the thing that hurt the most is I did not phone her and tell her I love her and I miss her
i am scared to death
those are my words
i can't stop sobbing
i'm sure it is over
what hurts, is my son.
but he will understand
i go over and over in my head, what my grandfather, joel, frank went through
frank sat with it for days on end on several occasions over a period of months, just as joel did (sorry edit out if i fucked up again i didn't mean too)
see i can't talk i can't make any good judgement calls
all my judgement calls are poor and suck dirt...my words suck dirt it's not intentional...pro life site i should not be here...i can't talk right...my words are fucked up
it's raw
it's from pain
if you know pain...you understand
kind of hard to have much self control
my apologies
i just...
ugh
hold me i am afraid, i hurt, i have to do this :sad:
those are my words
i can't stop sobbing
i'm sure it is over
what hurts, is my son.
but he will understand
i go over and over in my head, what my grandfather, joel, frank went through
frank sat with it for days on end on several occasions over a period of months, just as joel did (sorry edit out if i fucked up again i didn't mean too)
see i can't talk i can't make any good judgement calls
all my judgement calls are poor and suck dirt...my words suck dirt it's not intentional...pro life site i should not be here...i can't talk right...my words are fucked up
it's raw
it's from pain
if you know pain...you understand
kind of hard to have much self control
my apologies
i just...
ugh
hold me i am afraid, i hurt, i have to do this :sad:
this is an extremely complicated complex medical situation
there is no fix for this
there is nothing they can do for this
they created it
i don't want to go somewhere and see those who fucked me up in the first place
i'm not generally prone to depression...but i do know when my life has ended when it is over and i can no longer function...i cannot even think properly
they cannot help that matter of fact likely they will fuck me up again or kill me
great way to commit suicide is go check into a hospital...they are arrogant and will think they know everything, they won't listen, they will cut, and the first cut will do it. i'll die. rather die at home. not a bloody hospital. if i could find the video of my guts, they might perhaps listen but always some arrogant son of a bitch will come along scalpel crazy.
i am not angry with you **s** I understand where you are coming from but you do not have all the information.
...i am angry for not seeing the grass for not seeing the sky for not being able to make sense, for not being able to see the horses or wildlife i'm angry i can't brush my hair, wash my freaking face, put clean clothing on, get up and frigging walk...for that i am angry because i am this way due to someone's arrogance
but anger will get me nowhere....
only one way out of this bloody mess
there is no fix for this
there is nothing they can do for this
they created it
i don't want to go somewhere and see those who fucked me up in the first place
i'm not generally prone to depression...but i do know when my life has ended when it is over and i can no longer function...i cannot even think properly
they cannot help that matter of fact likely they will fuck me up again or kill me
great way to commit suicide is go check into a hospital...they are arrogant and will think they know everything, they won't listen, they will cut, and the first cut will do it. i'll die. rather die at home. not a bloody hospital. if i could find the video of my guts, they might perhaps listen but always some arrogant son of a bitch will come along scalpel crazy.
i am not angry with you **
s** I understand where you are coming from but you do not have all the information....i am angry for not seeing the grass for not seeing the sky for not being able to make sense, for not being able to see the horses or wildlife i'm angry i can't brush my hair, wash my freaking face, put clean clothing on, get up and frigging walk...for that i am angry because i am this way due to someone's arrogance
but anger will get me nowhere....
only one way out of this bloody mess
I agree with total hon I know your pain I know what it feels like we went through it together last night and came through it together you must fight would your grandpa want you to he would hate you I realised my soul mate would hate me she wants me to fight to live life for us both to show thr world what its lost and to enjoy what it has for both of us please please call them and your words are not useless they are wonderfull they show how you feel they are you they are not wrong they are just the way you feel.
I understood from the very begining hon may you be happy and at peace it is not the end jsut a new story if you run into my kitty kat while you are up there you will know her right away tell her, her wolfie misses her every day and will make her so very proud and you have a spot in my book ok hon the lioness needed a name and personality I hope that will honour you.
may you be happy and at peace it is not the end jsut a new story if you run into my kitty kat while you are up there you will know her right away tell her, her wolfie misses her every day and will make her so very proud and you have a spot in my book ok hon the lioness needed a name and personality I hope that will honour you.
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