I don't know if this is where i should post this but its relevant So i haven't cut in 10 days. Its taking a toll on me I guess you could say. I cried last night because i'm so filled with, i don't know how to explain, i feel like im going to explode! I haven't been sleeping, I have started eating less, migraines are horrible (stress and more stress). I feel like I'm losing my mind. The cutting i know helps, but i know is bad. The only people I am comfortable to talk to is here..... sounds lonely. But even when I post here I start to feel some anxiety. Right now i am thinking about deleting this whole post, sometimes just not coming back to this site. I don't want to cut myself but its starting to feel like its inevitable, i can't handle all this stress, how many more days can i go on like this, lack of sleep food and concentration. I should be doing my school work and i just can't focus. I feel like i just might fail this quarter, i never fail and that makes me more nervous. I'm so afraid of failure. I'm trying but its not going well...i feel so stupid... I don't know what else to do. Running, yoga ice music art etc. I've done it all the past 10 days but its just not working this time. I'm falling apart and i guess i just wanted to say that, i want to right now...typing here keeps me from cutting for a few minutes (Sometimes i sit on the chat not saying a word, i'm just there so i don't feel alone, so i don't cut) but i have to figure out what I'm going to do for the rest of the night most days. It sucks just staring at the ceiling for hours knowing that i have to up early and be out all day. Then i start to thinking about cutting and how it will make me feel better for the moment , the look of cuts, and i start fiddling with the metal and staring at it. It's hard. I don't want to cut but I know all to well how it ends. Such a shitty cycle i can't seem to get off of. thanks for listening.