Don't want to go on like this.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Jan 13, 2011.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I don't want to go on like this anymore. Self harm has taken over my life. I am feeling so low all the time that all I think about is ending it. I have started making plans that next Friday will be a night where I make attempts. I wont talk to the counsellor about it as she would have to break confidentiality. I said this to her. I said to her that Friday I knew I would be self harming. I didn't say I would be doing anything else. I asked her though what would happen if I did disclose I was going to try and do something. I said to her knowing you have a duty of care I wouldn't say anything even if I was planning on it. I then went on to say how I always thought that my patients were stupid for telling us they were going to self harm or try and kill themselves as it just meant that they wouldn't be allowed leave or be able to actually do it.

    I am feeling like I am losing it. big time!
     
  2. lord.nigel

    lord.nigel Well-Known Member

    Hey, im sorry to hear you want to end it and im sure it was a big decision to have to come too. You havent provided much information as to why you want to do it, so I cant really comment on that unfortunately.

    As for not being able to tell people, its a sad thing about it. Ending your life is something massive and it should be spoken about, even if its just explaining your reasons so its easier for other people to understand. At the same time, it sounds like doing this will only get you locked up.

    I genuinely believe a lot of people here probably dont need to go through it with it and i hope you are one of them. However, if you arent, im so sorry it has come to this and I hope you get some sort of relief in doing it.
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey golden has anything happened to trigger you? are you still seeing the woman from teh self harm network? is it helping? are your parents going to be away on friday? i believe that you don't really want to die, you just want the pain to stop. would i be wrong in thinking that? counselling takes a long time and some work for it to be effective. is she helping you with some coping skills?

    sorry for all the questions! thinking of you...

    catherine
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you okay i hope you continue to get that support you need to hang on. Wild Cherry has a forum for self harmers why not ask her about it okay Please stay safe please
     
  5. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I can't cope with my mood. Self harm has taken over my life and it has control over me.

    The counsellor is lovely. I have only seen her about 4 times so I know it wont be working yet. I worry talking about things makes them become an issue but maybe they already are.

    I can't cope with feeling like this. Nothing seems to be working for me. I am not sure what I want. I don't want to continue like this yet at the same time I don't have the energy to fight it and I know it will take time, time in which I don't have. I feel I need to just give up. If someone had a magic wand and could wave it over me and make me feel better I would take that option with life. But the way things are I choose the opposite!
     
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