I am just a mess, feel alone. I feel alone and a failure. my mental illness hurts my gf and hurts myself. i don't even deserve her, yet she puts up with my shit all the time even if she does think i'm annoying. i'm a skinny ugly twerp and she's this beautiful tall long haired beauty, God knows how she's been with my for so long. but it's not about looks. i'm a liar and a bother to everyone and i'm better off gone. Skype is bad news. i've uninstalled it too many people on that programme that are just awful human-beings that can't be trusted. I am an asshole and i hate the fact that I am. I wish I wasn't. No where to escape too, no where to turn. No where to go, if i were to die now my mother would be heart broken, she doesn't want to lose her son. i dont learn by my mistakes, i just hurt myself more and more. i hurt everyone, if i don't die. i should just be a hermit and live alone where I will die of loneliness. I will only hurt myself then. i hate myself and i hate when i become. no enjoyment anymore, no fun, no peace, no sleep, no nothing. I can't even tell you whats on my mind or whats happening. And the way the site is now i don't even know how to enter a chat or discuss things in private. I really just lost.