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Dont want to kill myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wastedmylife, Aug 28, 2008.

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  1. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I always told myself I would check into a mental hospital when things started to go real bad, well yesterday I checked in and they basically told me I couldnt go because I had no health insurance

    If I had health insurance I never would have reached the state I am at as I would have been able to see a psychologist to begin with and I would have got enough preventive health care to not have me reach the state I am in

    Anyway I dont know what to do, I have health problems that no person my age should have to live with, I am basically dead as a human and will have to live with these problems the rest of my life or try and file for diasbility or whatever which I will probably get denied anyway

    I really dont know what to do, I cant live like this, ultimatley I dug this hole for myself(though I blame the system that makes it hard for people like me to get care)

    Anyway I dont know what to do it is easy to say dont kill yourself but I just cant live like this
  2. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    To apply for disability, you need some good doctors and counselors to write letters to verify your need. It is likely you will be denied the first or second time, but by the 3rd or 4th, you will be approved, and you'll get all the back disability, back to when you first applied. So, it's worth the effort and some patience. Not that disability will be enough to live on. I receive $1020/month, which isn't enough for two of us to live on. Health, medicare, medical, homeowners and car insurance eat all that up. We depend on gifts from our mothers.

    Hang on and keep trying until they approve you.

    I had some doctors and counselors (from back when I had health insurance), who wrote good letters telling how badly I needed to stop working and be on disability. I was at high risk for suicide, having attempted a number of times. I was fortunate to have that support.

    In the US it doesn't take money to get therapy. Every county has (as far as I know) a county mental health department, where you can get therapy for as little as zero - my cost - based on a sliding income scale. If you can get in there, they can be valuable for writing letters of appeal.

    Again, keep trying until you're approved.
  3. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    so you have to pay for medicare out of your disability
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    What country do you live in? If you are in the US, I have some information; if you are in the UK and elsewhere, I am clueless...all the best, J
  5. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I am in US
  6. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Medicare kicks in two years after you're approved for disability. From my $1020 they take $97 for medicare. I also pay for a supplemental insurance to cover everything not covered by medicare. So, I pay only a small copay on meds. The supplemental provider depends on where you live. I looked through all the options medicare listed and picked the supplemental that worked for me, with the best coverage for the least money.

    I think that the first step you should take is to get a cousellor or therapist. If you're hoping to get disability based on your mental health (or ill-health), meeting with a doctor for an assessment has to happen. You'll need as many doctors/counsellors on your side as you can get.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You should cheeck around and see if there is an organization there called ACT. That is how I started and got letters from the staff there. Then I got one from my therapist. I didn't have to wait long and they put it through!! I read a post a while back from someone up north somewhere and they had ACT there. I live in Florida and we have it. Maybe it is called something else where you live. Check with your mental health organization. Good Luck!!:chopper:!!
  8. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Keep trying for that insurance. You can also look to third parties who might be able to help out.

    I wouldn't suggest forcible admittance, because when you exit the mental ward, you'll have huge bills. It'll be a heavy burden, when life is hard already.
  9. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    This is a pretty outlandish suggestion, but I'm just putting it out there.

    If you have any family in Canada or Britain, it's easier for you to move there. If you can become a resident or citizen, that beloved universal health care can take care of you.
  10. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I have accumultated so many medical bills I dont even care anymore, I must have accumulated about $10,000 in bills in the last few month and that number is sure to go up

    I doubt I will ever own a home or own anything so I dont care anymore, my life is just about over anyway, I will probably be homeless or something
  11. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I dont even want to hear this, I am so pissed because If I would have gotten preventive care I never would have reached the state I am in, if I would have seen a psychologist about 4 months ago I never would have deteriorated

    But you call them and their firsts words are "do you have health insurance"

    Now I am this fucked unhealthy person, I will just stick it to the system and leave them with these unpaid bills

    I wish I moved to Canada a few years ago after Bush was re-elected, now I am fucked, I cant believe what become of my life

    It really is amazing though, that I am in this horrible state asking to go to a psych ward and they fucking turn me away because I have no health Insurance

    Psychologists wont see me because I dont have health insurance and cant afford the $100 an hour

    what a fucking country we have here, I am so bitter

    I wish so bad I moved to Canada a few years ago

    And what would happen if I moved to another country and denounced my US citizenship? I doubt any country would take me and I almost feel bad at this point because I am fucked and doubt I will be able to work again

    But I was wondering if I would become a citizen if I came in as a refugee and denounced my citizenship

    I just cant believe what become of my life
  12. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Don't focus on what it will cost. Money isn't important. YOU are important!

    There are companies out there that can help you consolidate your bills, and reduce them to make the monthly payments manageable. Personally, the best thing is to keep going for that medical insurance, or move to some place where the insurance is better (Europe, Canada). Seek help, then move back.

    If you're having huge problems, a good way is to crash with your family or friends, it's what I did (and am doing). It'll make it easier to get back on your feet, and the environment is usually healthy.
  13. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    It is never too late to seek help.

    There are also psychologists, social workers, etc, who are out there that can help you (for cheap). I'm almost positive there are third parties out there that specialize in providing help to those who are having problems affording the "health care" system we have in the USA.
  14. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    I have explored just about every option where I live, the mental health services are pretty much shot and the health care is pretty much me on my own

    My problems at this point are treating these physical problems

    Whatever I dont even care anymore, I am gonna have so many bills I dont care, if I ever do get healthier I will probably just move to some place in europe and live homeless for the rest of my short life, I heard the Netherlands is a good place to live homeless

    I dont expect anyone to care, becuase one thing I realized is we are all alone in this world, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself and not put yourself in the situation like I am in, I blame the system but I also blame myself for not taking better care of myself, if only I would have stuck up for myself better I never would have reached the point I am at
  15. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Have you appealed to your family for help? Depending on how reliable your family is, they might be able to help bail you out.

    Also, if you talk to the doctors or nurses at the hospital/psych ward, they might have information on what to do.

    What physical problems are you experiencing?

    Life is what you make of it. It's very possible to overcome debt, even if it seems crushing.

    I do care.
    You are never alone, because there ARE people out there who care about you. It doesn't matter what you've done, everyone deserves to have a happy life.
    You can still stick up for yourself; it isn't too late! Keep fighting!
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