Don't want to live anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mordeci, Dec 1, 2009.

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  1. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    My life has brought me nothing but frustration and regrets. Everything I try in I fail. I thought some time to myself would help me improve my life but I seem to deteriorate rather then get better I just want it all to be over with.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    What's been happening? Here if you want to talk!
  3. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Nothing new has been happening, that is the problem. I thought I would take this time off to get better and it is 9 months later and I still feel like killing myself. It's just that I realized I will never be the person I want to be, I will never look the way I want, act the way I want, or have the things in life that I want, and I am having an extremly hard time accepting that. Also money is extremly tight, I will probably either go without eating or my medication for the month, life is just absolutly terriable at the moment and I really dont see my story having a happy ending.
  4. nash4MVP

    nash4MVP Member

    I've also realized that I'll never be the person I want to be. I often get so tired and warn out from crying that I have no problem falling asleep anymore. You see these people around you who have so much more, and you think- "I'm smarter than them". I've especially been feeling that way lately because I consider myself an intelligent person, yet I can't find any work, yet you see these dumb asses with high level jobs who can't spell. It sucks, and I've learned it's a reality of life. The one thing that I can do is be the best "me" I can be (I know it sounds cheesy). 9 months is a short time to give yourself to feel better. I imagine that I'll probably feel about the same (suicidal) in 9 months as I do now, but, in 3 years, who knows. I'm currently trying to take some enjoyment in not knowing the future. Have you tried doing any thing different (going to church, joining a gym, shit-going to a book club?
  5. Magnum

    Magnum New Member

    I'm 20 years old and I'm not the person I want to be either.
    But I'm not killing myself over it because.......I still have 50 or so years to make myself that.
    that's 18,250 days until I can expect to die. All I need is 250 days of that to be successful in the things I want to do.
    Lol What am I going to do with the rest of the 18,000 days?
  6. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I fell just like that, since I was born. I'll be 30 next September. But I hold on, because I beleive there's an after in THIS life. PM me if you need.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter


    You'll never reach your goals or be who you want to be if you give up now. You need to work for it. It's not going to change overnight. 2 years ago,I was so depressed I couldn't eat or sleep. I weighed 6 stone. Depression was damaging me mentally and physically. Slowly, with meds and therapy I began to improve. Now,I never have thoughts of suicide, bad days yes but I'm over the worst of it.I think you need to learn to accept yourself, when you accept yourself others will accept you too.
    Don't give up. You can fight this. :hug:
  8. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    I just don't see the point in moving foward anymore. It seems like I am settleing on my dreams and it physicaly and emotionaly hurts to do so. I really just want to be over with.
  9. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    I am so sick and tired of trying to get better, the longer I live the more convinced I am that my life will be short.
  10. Charlemagne

    Charlemagne New Member

    I feel the exact same way you do, Mordecai.
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