so normally i am a happy cheery person. i have my moments but hell, i always say "dont worry, i'll get over it." eventually, i do. and it doesnt bother me anymore. well, my ex fiance has this habit of his, of bringing himself back into my life...randomly! i dont ask, i dont want, he just does. and part of me, kinda would love to have the man i fell in love with back. i'd give anything to have THAT MAN. but he changed,and he'll say he misses me.then gets angry and shouts obsenitites at me. he'll say i want to get back together, then says nevermind. I HATE THIS MIND TOLLING. i have ignored and advoided him for a good month, until today, his new woman texts me saying how im a psychotic bitch, and i dont deserve to live and how my ex never loved me. now, i could've just told myself "dont worry, i'll get over it." but i just cracked for some reason. i didnt respond. i just deleted it. but i just cryed. and i have cried for about 4 hours straight wishing all my suicide attempts would not have failed. cause then i wouldnt feel this emotional pain...it just strikes my heart in half and then it falls to the ground and breaks into a billion and one pieces. and of course i know it will take a miracle to patch it all back up again...and even still im a vunerable silly 18 year old who falls for any guy that shows me affection. probably cause i lack so much of any kind of affection...blah! ugh. i hate feeling like this....*sigh* oh well, "dont worry...i'll get over it."