...That you could just wake up one day with everything arranged perfectly? That suddenly, you wouldn't have to worry about how to act, how to dress, how to speak in front of people, what to do and what not to do? My life is basically limited to all the things I'm afraid to do, things that should not even matter if I want to lead a normal life... It's so unfair when every nerve of your body and each one of your thoughts are all wasted on someone you know doesn't even care, and will never analyze your movements, your words, as much as you secretely analyze his daily, hoping you'll find something there that will give you a tiny bit of hope... *sigh* Seriously, life is exchausting. I just want to lie down, stare at the ceiling, and be free of thoughts. Painless. Am I asking for too much? I just want to wake up one day, and be free of worries, problems, hurt...That would be more than perfect. But perfect doesn't exist.