I have a genetic timebomb lurking in my cells that will one day not only be my demise, but will also strip away every ability (cognitive and physical) I currently have. There is no treatment on the horizon for my condition that will reverse or even slow its relentless course. The prospect of wasting away until my brain is so damaged it simply forgets how to breathe is something I cannot stand. With my destiny already determined, I have to be content with what I have accomplished in life and I simply wish to depart the world under my own conditions. No matter what I decide, I ultimately will not live to enjoy my golden years, let alone middle age. While the doctors say their crystal ball is broken as to how much time I have left, the answer always is to go make sure to have my affairs in order and do whatever I can to enjoy life right now while I'm still lucid and somewhat physically able. I also dread the medical expenses my family will be left to bear once I get to a state where total care is required. I don't know why I don't act through on my thoughts when it really is better for all concerned. I suppose it's the unknown that awaits that's the scariest.