Doomed to Fail

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Moses, Dec 7, 2011.

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  1. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    It's been a while since I've been here, but nothing has changed. I look around and everyone I know is moving on to something with their lives. Meanwhile, when I actually have a moment to myself, all I do is contemplate my future and come to the conclusion that committing suicide within the next 10 months is the best course of action. Statistically, I'm bound to end up in some shitty job I never wanted working my ass off to pay child support for my 2 kids that my ex-wife has custody over. The chances of me hating myself even more increases with time. I used to think I was a pessimist, but I'm viewing things from a purely realistic perspective. I know that I'm headed towards disaster and I just don't want that. Every second I'm left alone to think I just keep coming back to suicide. It's like my shadow. Suicide just seems so comforting at times; no worries, no disappointment, no hatred, no sorrow, no pain. Doesn't sound too bad. I read a statistic that says as people age, their likeliness of committing suicide increases. If I'm like this now, how long do you think I can survive? Maybe it's easier to just give up; stop trying to reach a non-existent finish line. I can't keep putting on a happy face for the next 60 years. Life is shit and I don't want any part of it.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Is there anything that has happened recently? Please let us know what is going on. One thing that I do know about statistics is that they do not tell us about the individual person, only a likelihood which can be changed by each person's actions.
  3. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you're here. Keep posting and let know what's going on.
  4. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and friendship, Moses. ((hugs)) Like many of us here, I'm also struggling, but want to let you know that I truly care and I hope that you'll count me among your many SF friends. If you do one kind thing for yourself today, make a promise to yourself to ixnay the "statistical thinking" as much as you possibly can. Life is hard enough without laying that messed up trip on yourself! I know... like everything, so much easier said than done, but you really do have more control over your future than you think you have, Friend. I totally relate to the idea of suicide as an oddly comforting thought. I think you'll find that many of us do. All we can really do is take it one day at a time and do our best to discover things in our lives worth fighting (and surviving) for. I hope you continue to post and please feel free to message me anytime. :console:
  5. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Sadeyes, nothing has changed. In fact, things have gotten better. I thought I would feel better, but I still feel the same way.

    I'm not an extraordinary person, so there's no reason for me to think that I'll be any different than the majority of the population who suffers the same fate I have described. I believe life is 80% chance and the actions we take are circumstantial and only slightly alter our lives. I do have ambitions and I would very much like to succeed in life, but I find my aspirations unrealistic. I'm nothing special; just a blank face that no one thinks twice about.
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