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doomed to loneliness forever

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DarkLordVader, May 7, 2012.

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  1. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    so today i was sitting at the local wendy's fast food joint. thats where i eat because i am addicted to fast food. i saw this beautiful women walking her dog down the street, and it got me wicked depressed. i realized at that moment i would never be with someone that beautiful. even on the ride home i noticed a couple behind me in the rear view. all i ever get attracted to me are overweight ugly women, so is that my F**KEN DESTINY? sure seems like it, i would never date anyone i was not attracted too. i was told by many of people to lower my standards, well i thought i did and yet even those women dont want anything to do with me. i know why, because i am poor, disabled, on a fixed income and not attractive. NICE F**KING LIFE i have huh?

    (please dont patronize me by saying, "you will find somebody") i know i wont, its just how life is, so really what is the use of living again? i dont give a rats ass who i hurt when i die, because when NOBODY cares about you, what do you have? (please dont respond with, "we care about you") how can someone thousands of miles away give a damn about somebody else, i mean really, these are words, MEANINGLESS WORDS
    Last edited by a moderator: May 8, 2012
  2. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Firstly - I would like to disagree with your analogy that people thousands of miles away don't care. That is judging too much of a book by its cover. And believing that they are just meaningless words is likely to push people away not keep the network of support that can be built up.

    Secondly - I'm not patronising you with this "you will find somebody" stuff. I hear it too, but all I can do is be myself. However, do you notice one thing about how you've described yourself? Its a common thing that people don't like their own situations on here, and you're judging on a situation. Poor/fixed income/not attractive... how do you know for sure that other people see you that way? And how do you know for certain that with a little encouragement, that its impossible to look after yourself as part of a future goal?

    Its very very easy to say and not so easy to do. This I am aware of. But I'm finding my own personal advice that i've been giving to people... is actually advice that would fit my own life and someone I know has said as much. I have a tendency to put others before me, which is just adding procrastination time, to what I'm wanting to do.

    If any of this makes sense, please do reconsider.

    (NB - many physically attractive women, can be hiding a lot - especially if they wear too much make-up etc... but their priority... they look after themselves first. That and they often see A-list celebrities - just like Victoria Beckham, who is lean to the point of unhealthy - and as a result lose confidence in themselves too.)
  3. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    im 39 years old with no education, no career, no money, no house, why would any women my age find me appealing? its because i do not OWN any of what i mentioned, i have nothing and will never have. there is no faith here, no hope, those words are meaningless and untrue to say the least. i dont know how much longer i can live like this, death seems the only real option for me
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    You have nothing - therefore there's nothing to lose and everything to gain. Try to stop looking at negative reasonings - things can get better - i'm pretty sure you're not as bad a person as you make yourself out to be. Yes I'm looking at the better side of things - encouragement to get out of a hole of thinking that death is the only option, because I believe that people have the capabilities to change their own futures. It starts within. To get any of the stuff that you say you don't have takes time, takes perseverance.
  5. Brokengirl123

    Brokengirl123 Well-Known Member

    I do not understand...you are saying that ugly overweight women do not deserve love too? I am struggling to find somehting good to say when you are asking us to care about you but you can not open yourself to care for others? That those women are so ugly they do not deserve someone like you, but you being you deserve something better?

    I do not think that women are not attracted to you because of you being poor, unattractive and disabled. I would have to say it is your attitude. And you are in luck because that can be changed.

    With that being said, I would like to say that G says some really good points here, and I would like to add that I genuinely care about people who suffer. And even more so good people, and people I get to know well I care evn more then. So even though you can not feel that way remember we are all built differently and we feel differently.

    Right now I care that a person thinks so low of themselves that they have had to resort to joing a suicide forum because they do not want to live but want help and support. BUt I dare not say anything else to them because I fear they are going to accuse me of patronising them and giving them 'meaningless words' which is upsetting so I feel compelled to protect myself rather than offer you advice or support. I should imagine others have read this and may feel the same.

    I'm sure if nobody cared however, they would find something better to do with their lives than respond to a post on a suicide forum to someone who they feel is going to attack them Maybe this can help you see that people are bothered about you. I hope you can reconsider your options and keep talking to us here. Everyone here wants to help.
  6. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    i am sorry but if i am not attracted to someone WHY would i want to be around them? please explain that to me because i dont see much potential there at all. if you think i am attacking you, maybe your right, this is my defense mechanism and that is all i have ever known for the last 39 years of my life. i never learned a different way to talk to people, even when people joke with me i take it as a insult and i lash out at them. i let them know they can kiss my ass and take a flying leap too. i have tried to date women that were not so attractive and i just didnt want to be with them, intimately, emotionally, etc its just the way i am programmed by society. i cant just DE-program myself, because even if i chose to date someone like that, i would end up hurting them anyways. they would want to do stuff and i would just be like, nah, i have other things to do, before u know it, they would tell me to get fucked. i would totally deserve it too because i can not commit to someone i cant be intimate with. i am sorry but that is who i am, i am hoping that i can win the lottery because that way i can eat, drink and screw high end escorts until i am dead. that seems to be the only way i will achieve happiness.
  7. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I will agree what has been said in the other responses you have got regarding your post.One most of us here really do give a dam as we wouldnt waste our precious time in responding,and alot of us have our own probs we are dealing with as well so take that into consideration as we understand and give a shit about others.You say your 39 well i m 40 and own sweet f/a too but looking at women i dont go for looks i look into the person thats where you find beauty.These lovely looking women you see can have a very nasty attitude underneath that beauty.Just been attracted to somebody for looks you will only end up with deadend relationships all the time.
  8. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    One of the reasons there is so much divorce in this country is because people these days seem to base their interest in another person strictly upon physical attraction. The next big reason is that everybody jumps into bed with someone else these days the minute that they meet them. What ever happened to getting to know someone and being friends first... and then lovers? If you don't have things in common with someone, what difference does it make what they look like? A real and lasting relationship is not based on looks and sex, it is based upon being soul partners. Common interests. Similar beliefs. Trust. Sometimes people need to think with their mind and heart, and not just with organs further down the body.

    Instead of looking for women to mate with, why not looking for someone you can share interests, trust, and non-carnal feelings? It's a bit of a twist on reality these days, but it's what used to make the world go round. Once those things happen, the attraction that you discover in them just might be more beautiful than skin deep.
  9. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    here is my issues when it comes to meeting someone, i have no idea how. when i was younger all i did was goto parties and if a girl i thought was cute liked me, we got drunk together and then went home together and screwed. that is how i met ALL my ex-girlfriends, i never had anything in common with them except sex. i wouldnt even know how to spark a conversation at all, at 39 shouldnt i know this? i am so scared of rejection i wont even talk to a women now. even when i goto dinner with friends and we get a cute waitress i usually stare at the menu until i am done ordering. at the grocery stores or any store for that manner, when i see a attractive women i dont go to her isle, isnt that pathetic? ill stand toe to toe with any drunk male douchebag when it comes to a fight and yet i am scared to death of women. i know its my social phobia that prevents me from being something more then i am. i really dont know what to do about that either, seeing a doctor, taking meds doesnt do shit for me, been their done that. so YES i am doomed to loneliness forever
  10. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    just like the chat room here, i am talking to myself
  11. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Stop thinking with your small head and think with the larger one. Relationships do not revolve around having sex.
  12. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    I'm just curious how when you are young, you have no problems screwing women but now you lack courage even to talk to one. Doesn't having sex with a woman requires far more courage than to merely talking to one?
  13. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    At least you are in the chatroom, where as it is impossible for me to be in the chatroom before I commit suicide.
  14. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Carbie,,, am listening to you now.. ok so much non hope and bad situations in almost every category... just maybe there is a person of the female persusation in a similar condition near by.. not a beauty queen, just someone with a good heart..

    do you have any affliation with a mental health center??? is no then perhaps see if caN find one nearby.. a support group might at least give you a chance to meet some other people in a supported environment.. not going to bore you with my life story here.. only thing will say is i used to be in the same positon.. and i am no longer in that position..
  15. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    i was in my teens and early twenties and i was at parties all the time, i was drunk so that made it easier for me to talk to someone. now when i go out, if ever, i stay to myself have a couple drinks and then leave. no point in making a attempt because i know the result, rejection, thats it, thats all. TRUTH
  16. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    If you think you're going to fail at something, then you will. It may be hard to have more confidence in yourself, but just try a little at a time. You won't find anyone if you keep being so hard on yourself.
  17. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    hard to have confidence when the women i loved in 6 feet under, now i have to beg, plead and buy my way into a relationship? i am sorry and this is going to sound very rude, but with my experiences as of the last year, all of the women i have spoken with come off as shallow gold digging hookers.
  18. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm sorry to hear about that...and no it's not rude...a lot of people suck. I just think that the things you say about yourself are harsh, and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
  19. Redduck

    Redduck Member

    Do you attempt at asking the 'attractive' girls out or talking to them?
    People often say that the good ones never like them but they rarely have the confidence to chat.

    You have got to remember we all have feeling (as cheesy as it may sound) I bet the women you talk of have low self esteem.
    Because they have men treating them as worthless, ugly women who are only a 'settle for' kind of relationship because the men think they cant do better.

    And nobody wants to feel like that do they?!

    Women are drawn to men who respect them.
    Get your confidence up (what ever that maybe) and show women who you really are.
  20. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    I think people tend to grossly overestimate just how much their 'precious time' really means to them, or what they would be doing if they weren't 'saying they care over the Internet'. Personally, I come here because I have too much time… I could do other stuff, but it would only make me feel more alone than I already do.

    There's no doubt that dating gets a lot harder after you finish school and you go out on your own. You can easily put it off until finally one day you have no friends, no confidence, no prospects and you're too afraid to do anything about it. And I've noticed that when you get to that stage, people are often pretty reluctant to get to know you and are even creeped out by you, which only makes it worse.

    You can be as upbeat as you want about it, but the truth is that loneliness makes you weird or at least look weird, most people judge you by your friends/lack thereof, and at a certain point your options seem so limited that they hardly even seem worth pursuing. Currently, I'm pretty much stuck between prostitutes and people on Internet hookup sites-- I'm actually afraid to have a conversation with people because I don't have anything fun to talk about, and because I'm so used to being by myself that I've lost a large amount of my social skills… oh yeah, and there's the anxiety too, and the shame of having been so alone for so fucking long. I think it would actually be alright if I had friends that would go out with me… but I don't-- and yeah, maybe that's my own fault for burning bridges/not being outgoing enough.

    I know people will call you shallow OP but unless you yourself are fat, I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to date a fat girl. If you are fat yourself then maybe you could self-improve together but if you're not fat then these kinds of people can really slow you down, and it can be hard to have patience for that. In the west we tend to accommodate these people, but if you went to Asia you would realize that being nice and accepting these people for who they are is actually causing the obesity epidemic, and it's not in the slightest bit healthy.

    And yes, being unemployed, etc. definitely does have an impact… and not a positive one. Still, I knew a guy your age who still lived with his parents, could only get work every few months, and still somehow managed to get a girlfriend. I think his parents helped him out or something… I don't think he was proud of the fact but there are people out there who are just as lonely and just as depressed about it. But he did get out of the house and go to the gym and stuff so I guess that's how he met her.

    There's no real sense in pretending that the world is full of opportunities or that dating/living is easy… for some people it falls into place but for others it just doesn't happen, and sometimes it never happens.

    If we lived in the same place OP, I would totally hang out with you and we could hit the pubs and get wasted enough to be able to hit on women.
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