...praying that you will get that sweet release? For example: I make the 20 minute drive home from work at 3am. I don't wear a seat belt and my POS cars driver side door doesn't latch. I pray that some drunk will cross the line and.... game over I had a cop on the phone who refused to do his job. I threatened to kill him in great detail. To my disappointment he never came to my house. I turned in members of a Mexican drug cartel that was cooking meth into ATF. They where arrested and no one sought retribution. The list goes on. I have 3 family members that would be devastated if I where to just do it myself and I am getting tired of waiting for them to pass so I can take care of myself. So I put myself in dangerous situations so that if I die they will be mad at someone else and not think they failed me. For me its not a matter of if I die, its a matter of when. Am I alone here?