I feel like I'm living a double life with my inner self and the people around me. Outside to them I guess I am this happy funny girl. In the inside it someone who doesn't want to live. Waking up is a challenge everyday. I wish I won't wake up. I hate myself even more for even feeling this way. Nobody even knows I feel like this. I guess I am writing this a some self therapy maybe expressing this even if no one reads it is better then keeping it inside. I feel every day I am darker in the inside as each day goes by. Weird I live in a city where it always shining.