Down at xmas

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Hazibell, Dec 24, 2008.

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  1. Hazibell

    Hazibell Well-Known Member

    I feel kind of down. Always do towards Christmas even though I'm one of the few people who actually seem to still love it and don't have many bad memories of it. Maybe one or two but I love it. And you don't hear many people say that nowadays because they're either lonely or bad memory times but yeah...
    But there's a couple of reasons that I usually feel down. One is because I'm terrified of death and dying and so so so scared that this would be my, or someone I loves last one. So scared of that ):
    Also. I love my mum. She's a lovely person but over last couple of years I've got close to another lady and her family and I wish I was with them so much ): I know you can't choose your family. But they're amazing people to me.
    Ahhh well. Will try and have a good one anyway. Merry Xmas everyone :)
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Merry Christmas Hazibell :santa:

    I hope you get to spend more time with this other lady and her family, seeing as it's where you want to be. Maybe you didn't start out with the family you wanted but you can certainly choose your family now.

    You spending your holidays with your mom or this other family?

  3. Hazibell

    Hazibell Well-Known Member

    With Mum. My second mum as I kind of refer to the other lady as came round today and everything. I mean. I do love my mum. But I can't talk to her as much y'know.
  4. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    I'll echo that sentiment. I say go bold and just let your feelings be to known to the one you miss most and are able to be closest. "I mean. I do love my mum. But I can't talk to her as much y'know." Hazibell I have no way of knowing what that means so, no I don't know. Again, if there is a way to do so without hurting your biological mother, always try and be with the ones in your life that nourish you most. You need that.

  5. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I don't like Christmas, due to the family stuff. I don't hate it, it doesn't depress me. It's just stressful. Two years in a row, now, due to coincidence it's become the most miserable time of the year. Last year I went down on the 20th, this year I made it to the 23rd! I went suicidal for the first time on the 27th of December last year, I think. Somewhere between Boxing Day and New Year's.

    I'm more alone than I have ever been in my life. No one's coming to rescue me from the blackness this time around. On the plus side, I should be good and drunk for most of tomorrow.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: Hazibell!

    You're not lonely:eek:hmy: You have us :arms:
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    We're always here for you hun. Sorry you feel so low at Xmas. I understand a lot of people do. It's a very stressfull and tense time. But i hope once all the xmas times are done with and you can get back to some routine things will get better.
  8. Hazibell

    Hazibell Well-Known Member

    Thanks guyss. Nooo I'm never lonely as suchh :)
    Have lots of people around me.
    Was a gooooood day! And spoke to my...preferred family a lot. And had a great day with my own mum :)
    Still feeling a bit blehhh but tis okay.
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