Down, down, down

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mpang123, Nov 23, 2013.

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  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I think my depression and suicide ideations are from me being under the weather all week. I'm isolating myself and sleeping waaaay too much. I'm thinking that the only reason why I still haven't had another attempt is the rules and regulation here at my place of living. I'm living just so I will abide to rules. That's so stupid. I have no other reason to keep fighting my ideations. They are so overwhelming at times. I have a vague plan, but I know I shouldn't act on it and that I should seek help. I want help but I'm afraid. I want to do another attempt but something is holding me back. I read all the people's postings and I know I'm not alone but I still feel alone. I'm by myself in my apartment. Avoiding all outside support. Thinking that everybody around me is dealing with their lives and here I am wanting to give up and I have hardly any reason to destroy myself. I feel so stupid. I guess the only support is this forum...how sad. I have an ideation that I will attempt something and then log in to this forum and see what will happen. That's horrible. I might get banned from this site forever!!! I hope I will stay safe and stick it through because I don't usually feel like this everyday. I just don't feel comfortable sharing with anyone else in the real world except here. I'm safe to vent here. You guys are my only support. Cyberspace relationship. I'm so sad.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I do hope you stay safe ok just thoughts hun don't let the thoughts have any power ok let them go through you just thoughts This place is safe and it is a good place to reach out for help when you need it. Dam weather does not help your right being stuck inside all day sucks but stay safe ok we hear you you are not alone hugs
     
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