Down The Slippery Slope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Losingfaith, Jul 4, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Losingfaith

    Losingfaith New Member

    Ok, I did introduce myself in the "Intro" Thread and now I guess I am going to spill my guts on here. I have never felt "Useless" like I do now at the age of 34. I have never felt No Self worth, until now. My skin doesn't seem to fit me right. I have failed miserably at everything I have done or tried job wise in the last 7 years and that includes owning my own successful business that suddenly went to hell. My Best Friend and Dad died within months of each other. I used to be somebody. I used to have confidence, I sky dived, took risks, I actually got off on risk taking.

    Now everything scares the living hell out of me. And if its not scaring me, I don't give a damn about it. I am absolutely bored with life, everyone, and everything in it. Mostly, I think I am bored with myself. I am not a "Professional Victim" and I absolutely loathe people who act like that. I know when something is my wrong doing and will own it but Damn, Everyone I meet lately (Last 7 years or so) are out to stab me in the back, and they have! There doesn't seem to be an ounce of civility or honor in anyone I know or meet anymore and I avoid socializing at all costs because of it.

    I see my world through a computer, have anxiety disorder, and now that I work at home as a freelance web designer, (Which isn't going well either) I never get out. Not that I care, or do I? I don't even know. I keep looking for that proverbial "Light at the end of the Tunnel" but The trains keep running me over from behind!

    Bah! And here I am wearing my heart on my sleeve to a bunch of strangers hoping, just HOPING someone has some good advice for me. Logical advice, I identify with logic.

    I digress. I will write more later. Right now Ide like to light myself on fire but that would hurt too much. :dry:
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.