the ride isn t that fun... it's been going down for 3 days now... keeping it silent and disguised for 2... it suddenly popped up... and so i stopped being silent and started crying... i can t say what on my mind... it's always same old same old... I dont get it ...the messages around me tell me to speak, but when i do... to my boyfriend...it just makes him mad and makes him want to get away from me ... wich is no help at all... so i guess i keep my dark tought to myself, pinch myself hard to be able to change that hurting feeling. people dont want to be around you when your sad and mad and depressed. they leave after a while... please help me someone... i just want to feel a bit normal i just need to have contact with someone a bit like me, i hate this state. i keep letting it be but it dosent get easier... even if i know the outcome will be ok... the phase i have to go through sucks and no one wants to hear me scream. am i the only one out there that feels like an outcast being pushed away?