downhill

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Justwannabefree, Mar 14, 2009.

  1. Justwannabefree

    Justwannabefree New Member

    im jesse. i really need to let this all out. my parents got divorced when i was younger. i wish this was the toughest part. as time went by both my parents got remarried. my step mom is horrible. she told me that i am fat and need to lose weight. i used to starve myself and make myself throw up to lose weight because of that. i also have trouble with depression on and off. my step mom just treated me like crap and all i wanted to do was be on her good side. it was never enough. my dad is now divorcing her after 5 or 6 years. my mom married this lazy asshole. he has four kids who just use us for a place to stay there are two old ones, 22 and 26, and two younger ones, 9 and 10. its gotten harder cope with all of this as time went by. i used to cut to relieve the pain. i ran out of spots to do it. the younger ones make alot of noise and are always fighting. i have to break them up because my step dad doesnt even care. he just puts all of his problems on my mom and me. i really dont know what to do anymore. i used to cry all the time, but now no tears come out. its turned into anger. i broke 7 holes in my walls and broke a mirror in my room. the older ones trash the house with parties and i hate them for it. ive tried to help my mom and tell her to get control of everything. she just doesnt listen. she says shes happy. shes just a door mat for them. my fuckin dad has to come over to fix stuff, he lives 45 minutes away. my step dad and dad are both mechanics and im just gunna put my stepdads name out here because i fuckin hate him and want to embarass him KEN RAND. he never does anything for my mom. shes got her mind tricked that this whole thing is normal! and his ex wife, this crack whore, is over with her new boyfriend all the time. the whole situation is disgusting! i have two years of highschool left. i wish i didnt have to deal with this for that long. im trying to be positive and look toward the future. i have five months before i move in with my dad. i just wish i didnt have to come to this:sad:
     
  2. bluebird002

    bluebird002 Active Member

    It sounds horrible. You shouldn't have to go through that. At least you can move out to live with your dad - that sounds much better - hang in there until then. Five months can seem like a long time but take it a day at a time. I hope there's somewhere you can go to get some peace by yourself, away from these people sometimes. Look after yourself, jesse.