its all pointless, moving out, getting help, starting meds.. whats the point to it all? i wont be able to sustain myself, cause i'm not bringing in enough money. i wont be able to live with other people, cause i'll have to lie to them to get them to take me in as a room mate as they wont take in an unemployed person. getting help well tahst just fucked from the get go. what the hells it gonna do for me if i'm schizophrenic ffs. constantly on drugs? constatnly dealing with people looking at me asking me if i'm ok and they're worrying about me. yeah its nice to have people there for you, but not when they're making you feel bad about you feeling bad or not mentally able. its all a fucking loop, and no matter how much i try to brake it, it will always be a loop. so what the fuck is a sheep to do? to those about to write, you'll move out and it'll be ok, no it wont. i'll be broke, having to lie constantly, having to put a face on with whomever i'm living with and pretending its all good. thats practically what i'm doing now. no stephen cant move out. just take my word on that. i have no one to move with. no moeny to move with and its all fucked. whats the point.