Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mozart, Sep 7, 2013.

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  1. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member a weird way I have anticipated all of it...sort of a year ago it all became very clear. The loss of health.marriage and job . And yes,I am now very close to the last of the three, a month or two away.Then the hat trick is finally a reality.
    I am a patient person ,so I waited for the last of the three to arrive.
    And I can already see it approaching nicely and steadily.Due to the nature of my highly specialised job I will not be able to make any decent living when outside that occupation. Doing something new ? It's a lifelong vocation and it's all I am good at.

    Picking up from there will not be possible. I simply know that.
    I have no depression issues ,never had, but I realise that there is only so much one person can endure. There is a limit in my case,and I know it very well.
    No pills ,no talk can solve this.
    This is above the limit.Full Stop.

    It seems that the one solution , reserved only for the worst imaginable case is now needed soon.
    I will certainly not hesitate and I am immensely looking forward having some peace finally.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Peace hun in a state of mind one that can be within ourselves ok You do not need money or power or anything you can poor and still have peace hun
    I know you feel lost i know that feeling well and you can convince yourself you are not depressed you are of sound mind and logic but hun there is no logic in what you are planning

    You coast then for a few years ok a year you coast and you do whatever you can until the right position becomes available you just do not give up ok
    You still have you abilities you still can create beauty hun from your soul so don't give in hun
    Who is to say that a day won't come that will bring you what you are looking for but you left to soon so you missed hun
    i don't know hun sometime our paths are not the ones we would have chosen but perhaps they are chosen for a reason by a greater power i just don't want you to give up hun please
    I listen to the music you introduced me to and i wonder how many more people there are like me who would love to have YOU bring them to your world
    There is always a way hun suicide is not the way
  3. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    Thank you total eclipse for answering,I am very grateful for it.
    I would just like to clarify a few points where I have a different view.

    One needs fulfilment in life,and yes,that has nothing to do with power or money. But if that fulfilment,eg one's vocation is taken away then there is no peace.At least not for me.

    I do not want to endorse suicide,but why should such action not have some logic in some instances ?
    Somebody I knew had been abused a number of years by her parents.Her life was utterly destroyed,then her boyfriend raped her on top of that.She ended
    her life and though I felt extremely sad about this I could understand her action. She would have never recovered from this.It was simply too much.
    She could have spent the rest of her existence heavily medicated and traumatised beyond rescue ,but she did not want to live like that.I can understand that.

    It's also not always about "giving up ". It is sometimes a decision that takes into account the refusal to accept a life which is no longer
    allowing the person to be what one actually is.

    I have never believed in a "greater power". Looking at the world as it is,this force is either useless in preventing evil or evil itself.

    You are right there is always a way.That is correct.
    Whether one accepts everything that comes along is another story.We have a free will,thank God for that,and some chose differently from others.

    I hope naturally that I can avert disaster,but losing everything simultaneously is very difficult and 2 our of the 3 problems I am facing would be irreversible .
    There would be no peace left,I have already had no peace the last 2 years because of this.None whatsoever.

    It's a nightmare to live like this.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2013
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hear you i do and what devastation you have been through everything taken away so quickly I am sorry your friend left hun but there are people who have survived terrible terrible injustices and with help with therapy they have moved on and supported others to heal
    Yes hun we all have free choice we all can chose but suicide is not a logical answer it simple has NO logic hun
    You find peace in a new way of living you make it so
    I know i know what it is like to lose everything i do and you feel like your life is over It is not over hun it is NOT over ok just a transition ok takes time but you WILL survive it
    Use all the support around you ok to hold on.
    You will still have your gift you will still have that and no one can take that from you <edit mod total eclipse requested>i pray you get one of auditions as i simple do not want you to leave.
    I pray one day you wake up and this nightmare you are living will end and some light will come into your life some ray of hope for you
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2013
  5. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    Thank you again. I appreciate your thoughts very much.
    As said before: I won't be able to find peace if nearly everything that was of some meaning to me is taken off me.
    And the prospects of getting back up ( or near a meaningful state of affairs ) are --in 2 of 3 problem areas -- practically Zero.
    I will know the final outcome in a few months at the latest and I am not making any hasty decisions anyway.
    I will carefully mull over my options and will a make a decision,based on reality and realistic forecasts.
    I have deluded myself enough during the last few years.....
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You hang on i mean it hun you hang on something will come forward it will
  7. please forgive me

    please forgive me Account Closed

    Mozart, I hope it turns around for you, sorry for all you have been through,
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