Dr. Unheimlich's Disease Registry

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Vagrant, Mar 31, 2010.

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  1. Vagrant

    Vagrant Account Closed

    Post yo' result !

    http://thesurrealist.co.uk/disease

    Good lord! You are suffering from
    Jonathan's Disease.
    Cause: lack of sleep

    Symptoms: euphoria, indigestion, bowel infrequency, frequent bowel incontinence

    Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 31, 2010
  2. PerfectlyMurdered

    PerfectlyMurdered Well-Known Member

    You'd better sit down. You are suffering from Kittyosis.
    Cause: improperly prepared squirty cream

    Symptoms: pacing, excessive paralysis, swollen appendix

    Cure: expensive biofeedback devices
     
  3. MadeOfGlass

    MadeOfGlass Well-Known Member

    This is odd...what are civet cats??? They don't sound like they taste good.

    I thought as much. You are suffering from
    Sarah's Lurgy.
    Cause: influence of the Devil

    Symptoms: extremely dry skin, imperceptibly orange hair, tooth lengthening, depression

    Cure: eat more civet cats
     
  4. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Good lord! You are suffering from
    Alexa's Disease.
    Cause: bee sting

    Symptoms: excessive swarms of bees, excess saliva, mild loss of weight

    Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait

    So what if I drool alot...:hamster:
     
  5. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    I thought as much. You are suffering from
    Stephenosis.
    Cause: improperly prepared spam

    Symptoms: mildly cockney accent, inability to pronounce letter 'c', frequent tiredness, spitting

    Cure: exercise

    :blink:
     
  6. friendless

    friendless Well-Known Member

    Congratulations! You are suffering from
    Dona's Disease.

    Cause: sporting injury

    Symptoms: excessive sparks, occasional loss of libido, sudden deafness

    Cure: infect someone else
     
  7. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
    Lizosis.
    Cause: the wrong type of snow

    Symptoms: vomiting blood, blood powdering, euphoria

    Cure: infect someone else
     
  8. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    Bad luck, you are suffering from
    jccosis

    Cause: self abuse

    Symptoms: chapped lips, blue blotches, pointy ears, peeling skin
    Cure: drink lots of water


    phew! at least i can be cured, :D
     
  9. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I'm afraid it's bad news. You are suffering from
    Steffen's Disease.

    Cause: Egyptian curse

    Symptoms: darkening of urine, excessive elbow pain, glow-in-the-dark urine, tongue swelling

    Cure: trepanning

    Great. Drilling a hole into my head. I think I'll take the disease instead... TBH my urine has been darker recently and most of my joints are painful. My urine might glow in the dark but usually my bathroom is lit when I'm using it. I'm not sure whether my tongue is any different than before.
     
  10. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    Bad luck! You are suffering from
    Maddy 's Disease.
    Cause: bad honey

    Symptoms: paralysis, regurgitation, frequent sarcasm, slightly enlarged liver

    Cure: click heels together three times
     
  11. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    You'd better sit down. You are suffering from
    Christy's Lurgy.
    Cause: self-abuse

    Symptoms: excessive feverishness, fangs, mild American accent

    Cure: take five spoons of cod liver oil every day before meals


    Ok that's weird, since they described me to a T. But I ain't taking no stinking cod liver oil! lol
     
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