Dragging on past it's deadline

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by ghostangelcake7, Sep 12, 2016.

  1. ghostangelcake7

    ghostangelcake7 Well-Known Member

    I am in a truly uncomfortable spot as of now, having broke up with my partner, whom in the beginning had the intention of it working out (who doesn't?) and it's been over for a while, only formally ended last month. However, I am stuck living here, confined to the same space (usually in the kitchen in front of my laptop) and it's beginning to wear on my spirits. I cannot face another week like this. And it's not just a matter of I cannot it is I 'WILL NOT' continue this way. I am guessing he told his son (6 years) about our breakup, because I don't trust he has kept it to himself, because his son has been acting 'different' and hovering around me and making comments about me or what I am doing a lot. I am being ever so tolerant of it, but won't be much longer when I move out.

    I am hating the nights spent alone in my exes apartment, and otherwise when he's got his son, it's been me cramped into one room all day long feeling awkward because we are not on speaking terms, except his son makes comments to me constantly and sometimes annoys me with his being a kid, kind of rude but he's only 6..however I am upset with the ex-whatever-he-was because I think he told his son about us breaking up, and now his son is going to make my life here more trying, and I will probably move out really stressed out which is never fun.

    Anyway, any words or suggestions on how to handle this situation would be appreciated.
    I am really worn down by this. I don't deserve it. But people continue to give me a hard time. Let alone my ex's and his son have to make me feel uncomfortable.
  2. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    Sorry to hear about your situation.
    I was once stuck with my mothers ex in our old house, although we rarely talked and I was an adult. But I can imagine it's not nice for you, since some kids can be kinda mean if their parents tell them stuff.
    But I sadly don't have suggestions other than you'll have to look for apartments for yourself.
    But do you have friends or family that you might be able to stay at until then instead?
  3. ghostangelcake7

    ghostangelcake7 Well-Known Member

    I can stay with one of my co workers. Guess I'll have to resort to that. Apartments are too expensive for me right now, maybe a room but not a whole apartment. I will get one eventually though.
  4. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    Well that's good to hear and yes, you should at least consider it, if not taking the offer. Seems to definitely be a better option for you.
    Aah, well yeah. But at least look for rooms or so, until you have saved enough for an apartment.
  5. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Angel, I'm Sorry this break up has to be made more uncomfortable for you. I never understood how people couldn't be adult enough to have common decency when it comes to romance. I'm really no expert in this department, when someone doesn't want to be with me, I usually just walk away and show no emotion( not a healthy thing I'm sure)
    All I can say is, everything happens for a reason, not usually understood at the time of the pain we suffer. But hold your head up, you're a good and caring lady and there are good and caring men who out there who will treat you as you deserve. With respect and love. Stay classy my sister and you'll get through this and win. I didn't intend to write this but just wanted you to know you're heard and we care.
    ghostangelcake7 likes this.
  6. ghostangelcake7

    ghostangelcake7 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your response Brian, I can only believe that right now. My ex is still rather immature for his age, and I think he uses the excuse that he only looks younger than his age, and so uses it to his advantage to try to get away with acting rather juvenile, like a 'grown up kid', hugging his pillow if he's upset with me type of guy..ugh
    Brian777 likes this.
  7. ghostangelcake7

    ghostangelcake7 Well-Known Member

    I have been reading a lot of articles that are about re-claiming yourself and mentally I have no real issue moving on, this physical aspect is wearing on my spirit. I already still am coping with the aftermath of abuse and PTSD...I mean..do I really deserve this too? I am not BAD or negative at all. I am too NICE. WTF is wrong with everyone?
    Brian777 and Frances M like this.
  8. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I feel that way too. I'm a good soul, a nice, generous kind person with a big heart. As far as what's wrong with everyone, I have a laundry list. I've given up on everyone...I try so hard to remain positive in bad situations but I can totally understand how you feel. I know it's not quite the same, but last winter I did actually break up with my bf. He'd pulled one of his immature little tantrums and locked himself away in his office for THREE days, only emerging when he knew I was in bed or walking the dogs...you know, to stock up on food and water. So childish and cowardly...anyway, by day 3 I'd had enough and I slipped a note under his door saying it was over, get out by the end of the lease.

    The following week was terrible. We didn't speak, I hid in the bedroom while he hid in his office. We would bump into each other occasionally with no words, I was devastated. Obviously something happened and we remained together, but that 10 day stretch was horrid. I knew I'd be stuck in that situation for 6 more months and it wore on me, that could have been a reason why I took him back, but I don't really know anymore...And honestly GhostAngelCake, I'm not a kid person and it would annoy the bleep out of me too if there was a kid still involved...I hope that you can move into your co-worker's place at least for now until you find a room because staying in that situation is so unhealthy.
    Brian777 and ghostangelcake7 like this.
  9. ghostangelcake7

    ghostangelcake7 Well-Known Member


    And I feel for you and your 'bf' situation..sounds like a complete passive aggressive B.S to me..much like how it was with my ex..he would always comeback with 'whatever!' and walk away if I was confrontational or said something he didn't have a good excuse or comeback for...so retarded and immature!

    I am also not kid friendly, just tolerant. I speak my mind no matter how bad it sounds but I do not want kids myself, and so his son only adds stress, he comes up behind me and stares into my computer, grabs my hair or hits me in the back and all the crassness...I just deal with it, but I really cannot wait to just gather my belongings and high tail it away from this. Do I NEED to feel guilty for feeling this way? I wish him the best in his future, btw. But I feel nothing towards him otherwise. So it is wrong to stay.

    Thanks, glad I am not alone but still hate others go through this =/
    Brian777 likes this.
  10. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    You're better than me because I'm not even tolerant with kids. I'm sure there are lots of folks on this board who love kids, so I'll refrain from what would be going through my mind if a kid hit me in the back or grabbed my hair...:rolleyes: You do NOT need to feel guilty for feeling this way at all!!! You ended it, you want to leave so you can really start moving on...no guilt, you are doing what comes naturally after a breakup, not wanting to hold on or participate anymore, no guilt!!!

    Yes, my bf is/was passive aggressive, and I've heard the "whatever" as well, and yes, it's retarded. I chuckled when I read that word, haven't heard it in a long time...I've also heard the ever-so-popular "meh" when I ask a specific question. Makes me want to pull my hair out. Things are improving, slowly on my end though, I guess he's feeling that I'm finally serious about leaving him, time will tell.

    But really, I kind of envy that you actually did it, even though you knew you'd be stuck with him for a while, that takes a lot of courage.
    Brian777 and ghostangelcake7 like this.
  11. ghostangelcake7

    ghostangelcake7 Well-Known Member

    OMG, "meh" is my exes MOTTO. When we were together I was vaguely considering buy him a coffee mug with the words "MEH." on it..geez look out for the "Meh" people I guess lol.

    Thank you for saying I have courage (I guess I do more than not nowadays)
    I ended it because..I really can't go any 'lower' than I am. I am at rock bottom. I have nothing to lose really, just a bunch of worthless material possessions. My betta fish is a faint reason, I love him but he is a fish...in a tank..can't even touch him. I need to be comforted in more ways than staring into a fish tank looking for solace from a FISH lol.
    But I do love him..he's my 'baby'..=/

    I really hope you can get away from your own 'whatever' and 'meh' spewing passive aggressive..Do it and don't even question it, I mean, live your life without these meh people holding you back.
    Frances M and Brian777 like this.
  12. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Grrrr..."meh" should not even be something I type out, it's just not a word (if it is?) that even remotely fits into my vocabulary....but as you know, I'm waiting to make my decision until the spring when the finances will allow me more of my own courage. But he knows, he's on his best behaviour. I haven't heard a meh or whatever in...13 days, which is a surprising record, no incidents in that time. Maybe he grew up...who knows? The winter months will teach me lessons that's for sure.

    I'm glad you have your fish to love! We all need a pet though yeah, it's hard to hug a fish. :)
    ghostangelcake7 likes this.