drama life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Samxx7, Mar 2, 2007.

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  1. Samxx7

    Samxx7 New Member

    I have no1, i have a family but after telling them for 3 years their daughter is depressed and fucked up in the head...they obviously has done NOTHING. i not only have delt with depression since i was 5 from girls putting me down from guys putting me down, from anyone is my family putting me down, i've lived an emotional hell. ifi could give in detail my life, some of you would be shockered, yes i am a coward, reason why im not dead, reason why im even writing this, but in my eyes i WANT to get better, i want to be normal, which i have NEVER been, never oce did i feel happy with myself and how people thought around me, never once did i have some1 love me, wether it be a parent to a boyfriend...which id like to mention i am 19 an attractive looking girl and yet zero boyfriends just me being obsessed with guys at times and them caring nothing for me. i wish i could die, why you ask? bc nothings been good in my life! i was made fun of, made rumors of and never could look at myself and say i love myself, blame it on the assholes in school, blame it on the douche bags what didn't ask me out or care about me enough or even blame the drunk mother i have that has sat on the cough for 20 years with a glass of wine in her hand watching i love lucy all her life or better yet balme my father that not only woul 5 hours away from we live 75% of my life but spent only weekends and paid only attention to my brother. i mention the last few line ONLY bc i confronted my mom and dad about how they don't even know me, or care that their daughter hasn't ever been healthy, and tey have done nothing, not even a comment back to the whole situation. im just sick now, and bc i have no1, no friends, no1 fam, no teacher, no random any1, i ask of all of you, HELP ME, give me a number i won't be afraid to call, bc judment is my problem and im frigthened even tho theropists say they don't give judgment, SERIOUSLY it MY FEAR, thank you if any1 posts are says anything, im almost 20 and ive delt with this all since 3rd grade, its gross and depresses me even more to say that, eh please help


    p.s. i did no revise this whole paragraph, but my spelling does suck and i know it, i don't want to read through it again bc then i might delete it, so im sorry if at times i don't make sense, and even now

    thanks
     
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