I've never had anything really bad happen to me my entire life. I've never been abused or seriously bullied or anything like that. And yet... And yet I still feel completely hopeless. Stupid. Worthless. I feel like even more of an idiot because nothing bad had ever happened to me. I mean, I have a wonderful family (though they can be really oblivious and negligent at times, they're usually wonderful), I have everything I could want... Then what the hell is wrong with me? I mean, I feel like I should try to justify what I'm feeling, and I just can't. That can't be good, can it? I guess... I know I do have a problem. I know I think about these things (i.e. hurting myself, planning, etc), but I just get so paranoid that its just because... I'm a dramatic teenager or something. More importantly, I'm afraid that's what my family's going to think if I tell them what's really going on (i.e. where the exacto knife went, why I won't leave the house, where that cut on my leg came from, etc etc). I don't know. This whole thing feels stupid. I keep going between 'Yes, you do have a problem, 'okay' people don't think about killing themselves, etc etc' and 'You're just being dramatic, convincing yourself that you're suicidal or something, etc etc'. And honestly? I don't know which one is the truth.