:/ dreading the days

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ThornThatNeverHeals, Oct 30, 2011.

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  1. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    My birthday is coming up, and it really freaks me out... i didnt want to get past the age 13... now im almost 15... it really freaks me out...

    on top of that i dont like being the center of attention of imberassed, but my friends all figured out when my brithday was.... i really dont want to be imbarassed, and tried to explain that to them, but they belive the best birthday comes with a little imberassment. Even my boyfriend wont listen when i say i dont want a present, other than a hug :/ totaly freaked out over it, and dreading each that that drags me closer... i had to threaten my brother with a broom to get him to promise not to tell anyone...especially the damn teachers :/

    dont wanna do this... wanna die before i turn.
     
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Tell them all to back off! Your birthday is not one of celebration. Tell them why they need to respect your not wanting a birthday bash or party or presents or whatever.

    I stopped counting at 32. I'm 34 now, now that I have to calculate it. I would suggest letting them know that there is nothing special about your birthday, and to just let it be another day.

    Doubt they will listen tho.
     
  3. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    they dont... they are convinced that i have a problem because im anisocial, not the other way around, so they try to make me more social...
     
  4. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Being social is overrated. Yesterday was the first time I competed in a chess tournament in 2 years. I got pretty worried that I wouldn't be able to handle the pressure of competition. I did just fine.

    I've been a hermit pretty much for two to three years.

    One thing I learned yesterday, is that I prefer solitude.

    You have every right to tell them no.
     
  5. JustFirefly

    JustFirefly Well-Known Member

    I Ahree fully. Solitude is where its at. :3 then again im extremely odd and misplaced haha... I am sorry that people womt listen to you - I havnt celebrated my bday in 9 years now.. since i was 13.. haha. No one really knows it unless i tell them :3 though i might have it shown on the site. >.> I hope you feel better thorn :3
     
  6. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    idk, anyone else have this problem? anyone know what to do to get them to understand?
     
  7. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Birthdays, like graduations/weddings/funerals, are generally not about you. I mean they are -about you- but they're mostly there for the benefit of the people around you. This is why it can be so difficult to convince others that you would prefer not to go through the birthday motions. Upon hearing that, some will assume you're just being demure and are really suggesting you'd like an even larger surprise birthday celebration (this has, in fact, happened to me :blink:). Some will believe you, but will feel wrong about doing nothing, because they like you, and feel it is their responsibility as a person who likes you to express that like towards you in the form of birthday festivities.

    So, two things to achieve the desired result of minimal or nil birthday stuff:

    1. To those who know when your birthday is: tell them in short, clear, concise sentences; no party, no people, no brouhaha, I love you but please, no, no ,no, and no I will not be dissappointed. Short sentences I say. Small words. Clear body language. Like training a puppy.

    2. To those who do not know when your birthday is: do not tell them. <-- more difficult than it sounds.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 31, 2011
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I agree with this :) you don't have to do anything you don't want to do, you shouldn't be forced into celebrating something that you don't want to celebrate.Tell them nicely to back down, hopefully they will listen. :hug: good luck!
     
  9. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    i tried... i tried to explain to my friends and BF i want nothing, no gifts nothing, he says he ONLY has one :nerves: this cannot be good... and the friends.... well thhey just dont understand...
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That's a shame, it really is. Maybe ask him if you can have the present early, so you can get it over and done with?
     
  11. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    :blub: do NOT want... do NOT deserve... do not want to be noticed at all... sometimes being invisible is best.... why cant htye see that????
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :( :hug:
     
  13. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    :/ almost just Si to keep from having to go to school when they plan to ambush me :/
     
  14. Fredericks

    Fredericks Well-Known Member

    Skip school that day? Pretend you're sick, hide out at home, keep quiet. If your folks bother you, tell them you're tired and want to sleep. Essentially hide from everyone.
     
  15. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    i wish.... if i dont have a fever, or am not caughing out blood i have to go to school.
     
  16. Slothbear

    Slothbear Well-Known Member

    I hate birthdays too. :(

    Hang in... it will turn out ok.
     
  17. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I don't think your friends are doing this deliberately to spite you. They probably think they are doing something nice for you to surprise you and to give you a good day. If you look at it in that sense you have some really good friends. They probably dont realise how much you really dont want a fuss so you should just be straight with them.
     
  18. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    yea. i dont think they are either. but me tryign to tell isnt helping.... i obviously cant deal with it... am ijust not making my wil clear enough?
     
  19. under1

    under1 Member

    I get your position completely! I hate my birthday, I just generally hate being around people. My mum kept nagging me about how I should have planned one etc. but then eventually the day happened and I escaped birthday party free. I dont regret it one bit.

    Your friends cant really be that great if they dont listen to you. It sounds like they're only excited about your birthday to see who can act the nicest and the best or something. Kind of narcissistic. I don't know your friends so I cant tell.
    Just tell them that if they try and celebrate your birthday you will surround our house with barbed wire and set rabid dogs on them or something.
     
  20. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    aye, ill try that :lol!: they know i am very literal, that oughta make them think it over... ill probs really hide on my B-day....
     
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