Dreaming of dying....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jacob1973, Apr 7, 2010.

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  1. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    I got laid off last thursday, and been trying to get my company to give me another position somewhere else. I have been dreaming of dying alot, and specifically the methods of doing it. On one hand its comforting, on the other, it is scary.

    Today I got the ability to go to another position, but have 2 days to report for duty. Various issues surrounding this are causing high stress, especially with me not even knowing where I am going to live.

    So I am packing tomarrow, but that still doesnt settle my thoughts and fears..... I so much wish I would just get hit by lightning or something out of my control... It would settle it all without me having to do the decision.

    I also still dream of setteling down and finding me that special woman, and having a family. But the fear of getting old is really taking a toll on me. The older I get, the less likely I will have a family of my own. I am only 1 month away from 37, and still havnt even kissed a woman in my adult life. Yah, Im having so many issues on a work and personal level...:confused:
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am glad you were offered another job...that is more comforting...good luck with your new location and hope this change brings pleasure for you...big hugs, J
     
  3. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    I think that sometimes we just have to turn off our brains and go on cruise control.

    If you think this job might work, then take it, without trying to think too much about it, or the other issues.

    If you don't have any other place to live (sorry, don't know your circumstances), can you stay at an extended stay hotel? Some can be cheaper than apartments, especially by the time you add in utilities.

    You're not too old to find that special relationship. I know of many people, who had given up hope, only to find someone. My mom was 40 when she had me, and many people are waiting until they are older to have kids these days.
     
  4. brokenandlonely

    brokenandlonely Well-Known Member

    I quite honestly know how you feel exactly having been layed off from work for over six months doesn't help with keeping busy or even using it as a form of distraction as it was for myself. I am glad to hear that you got offered another job, I hope it's something that you will enjoy doing. :hug: Speaking of having dreams about dying/death, I used to get really vivid nightmares that I don't get that often and I would wake up in cold sweats and in tears. I know how painful it is and to be honest I haven't found a whole lot to help me with them or what the root cause of them come from. About the relationship issue, I think you shouldn't be too down on yourself nor either lose hope in finding the special someone regardless of age. The special someone is out there and the challenge is finding that person and having them share the joys of life. For some like myself and everything I have been through and with trust issues, it's difficult to go through the daily grind and also have in mind the what if's and the how's. In the end, things work themselves out for the better. :hug:
     
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