dreaming of sleep

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Chadaho, Feb 11, 2014.

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  1. Chadaho

    Chadaho Member

    I am stuck here a victim of my own thoughts. Searching my mind for the best and most reliable method of suicide. Wishing I could sleep to escape for just a bit. Funny thing is at the same time I refuse to sleep. I'm on a short path to self destruction. I can't really eat, my stomach isn't really tolerant of food. Nerves I guess. There is nothing left for me here. The only reason not to end my pain is the pain it will cause. How long can I sit in pain to spare others theirs? I don't think it will be long.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are right hun you need to get out of the pain but not by leaving ok you need to talk to someone anyone who can give you support you deserve to heal
    talk to a therapist your doctor crisis but talk it helps Coming here reaching out to others you will soon see you are not alone ok There is help for you hun reach out ok and get it hugs
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You don't deserve all this pain, but you do need and deserve support. I know you're probably tired of reaching out and then being pushed away, but I hope you can find the strength to reach out again.
  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Chadaho, i understand. Sleep gives me the best relief, but it can be hard to come by. I usually lie awake in bed for hours. And then you can imagine where my thoughts take me. But when I am able to keep my busy with other things, it helps. I hope you can find something to concentrate on that will bring you some relief. You deserve it.
  5. SuicideSam

    SuicideSam Banned Member

    I know what you're going through Chadaho. I hope you can hold on till you can get help in some way or other.
    Stay safe and stay strong.
  6. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    You say you refuse to sleep. Are you deliberatly stayinf awake to think of stuf or just not tired.

    If you are not being active during your day you wont tire your body, so do keep busy. This will also make you hungry, so helping your appetite.
  7. Chadaho

    Chadaho Member

    I am getting help. Waiting for a counselor appointment. I am finally on meds. Problem is they don't fix the problems. They pile up faster than I can deal with them. I'm buried. I'm overwhelmed. I'm failing at life. I failed everyone who mattered and now I'm alone. To die may bring them pain but I am convinced that in the long run they'd be better off.
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Nobody would be better off if you died. I think I remember reading in one of your previous posts that you have kids. If they lost their dad to suicide, it's something they'd never recover from, that pain would never ease. So if you can keep holding on, keep going for them, in time you may find other reasons to want to live. You just need that one reason right now, that one thing to hold onto.
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