Dreamt about it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Terra, May 31, 2010.

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  1. Terra

    Terra Well-Known Member

    I dreamt about it, a black rushing river and an old rotten bridge. I had people around me, but they couldn’t see it, they where happy and surrounded by lights. I was dragged towards the water. It was one of the most scary feeling I’ve had, complete horror, yet I felt relieved. I was kind of happy about it actually, that I wouldn’t be to blame if I fell of, that people wouldn’t even give it a second thought.

    I kept those feelings, even though I woke up. It’s heavy, painful, cold and unknown and nobody knows. I won’t tell them, not anyone. It’s degrading and shameful… I have a happy life, friends and some family. And they all rely on me, even though I’m the youngest, they all have their problems. It’s unfitting for me to have problems, I can’t have problems if I’m supposed to help them right? I want to disappear, but not in a way they could blame me for. Unfortunate accidents happen, nothing to do about it, they can blame whatever they want that makes them feel better. The only thing that keeps me going is Tara (dog), but she’ll be gone within a year, maybe two at most. I probably have to put her to sleep soon, but that’s a part of life too, if it’s alive it’s going to go away eventually.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I really dont know what to say. But I understand how even though it was a terrible dream, you found a sense of comfort in it. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone. Keep posting, atleast it's one way for you to get it out instead of trying to keep it locked inside. :arms:
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Terra, Your dream sounds very scarry..When yoour friends and family unload on you tell them you have had enough.. That you care but you have your own problems.. Don't take on guilt, you have been doing this for a long time and they just assume you will fix things..Look out for yourself..You are part of this family now..We will listen and try and support you..Give yourself permission to open up to us..
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