well so i have started drinking again and i have missed so much. I tell myself it is just to help me sleep but i know why it is it is to take away the pain of the blade. I know the cut will not be a tiny one for fun but a deep nast one. I just can not take the voices in my head any longer i wish to be left alone for them to go away. all i want to be is a normal person with a happy life not a fucked up wast of time I am sorry for all the things i have done wrong i just want this shit to end.