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Drinking again to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sui caedere, Mar 4, 2009.

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  1. sui caedere

    sui caedere Well-Known Member

    well so i have started drinking again and i have missed so much.
    I tell myself it is just to help me sleep but i know why it is it is to take away the pain of the blade.
    I know the cut will not be a tiny one for fun but a deep nast one.

    I just can not take the voices in my head any longer i wish to be left alone for them to go away.
    all i want to be is a normal person with a happy life not a fucked up wast of time

    I am sorry for all the things i have done wrong i just want this shit to end.
  2. someone87

    someone87 Member

    <mod edit - unsupportive>
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 4, 2009
  3. Troubled2008

    Troubled2008 Well-Known Member

    Hey man, all that guilt is totally only from the alcohol. Believe me. I've been from drunk to sober and back again. If you can quit once, stay quit forever; That's the key.... I'm trying to quit for the second time; It is much harder this time because I am older with deeper emotions I guess.

    It is always a fallacy..... First time, I did it cold turkey. I am told most people cannot do this. Second time, some years later... it's harder.. I guess because I think more about things now... which is a bad idea........ I have got six years under my belt (of drinking) and some people told me about some warnings about withdrawal... I don't get very bad physical withdrawal but I think I definitely have psycholigical withdrawal....... All I can say that has worked is when I thought about my life in this way-- To try to forget about substances and focus on positive energy and good deeds... It seems the gods liked that and allowed me to quit for awhile...

    I think the best thing is to purify your energy and karma.... the gods might help you then... Other than that, I'm not honestly sure how a person quits... it is very difficult...... So pray for me I guess... I'm mostly a Native-American religion person so Jesus isn't going to probably save me... but if he does, I am open to it. :smile:
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I know how you feel.
    I usually drink with my meds in hopes it'll do some damage to me.
  5. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    yeah you shouldnt really say that.. might give people wrong ideas..
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