Mt family knows that I drink, and aside from a few times where it was clear, they have never actually seen me drink. I live with my aunt and she is a pain in the ass when it comes to drinking. I haven't drank in a few days and it hasn't been bad physically, but emotionally I feel like shit because I rely on it to numb all this pain. After not being able to sleep most of the night I was finally able to get some sleep, only for her to interupt that wanting to know where the bug spray was. I was half sleep and I also didn't have my boxers on so I didn't want to get up in front of her half naked so i was trying to tell her to leave and I will get the bug spray. I give it to her and as she was walking away, I think she mumbled something about me drinking....which I didn't do. You know, I am so sick of this hypocritical family of mine holding over my head that I drink. Worse, some of the people who do it, also drink. But my aunt doesn't drink and I think that she thinks that since she's old she can say and do whatever she wants and if I get mad all she has to do is "tattle" on me and everyone will talk about how im such a disrespectful person and crap like that. well they aren't the ones dealing with this, they aren't the ones having to put up with this bullshit. and when they are the ones who are wrong, they make all these half assed excuses to keep doing the same shit they always do. I want to drink to numb all this, but I can't right now and im so drained and tired it's hard to stay busy. i just want the pain and shit to stop. Sorry for writing all of this.