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drinking to die!

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all the comments and concerns on my situation are very generous. but as I sit day after day drinking bloody mary after bloody mary, things have finally come clear to me. I drink to make the numbness and emptyness feel like something. as for my husband any reaction to my situation would be horrible. I refuse to be "locked up" again. I would rather be dead than anything, especially if living ment therapy and institutionalization. I won't go back to the psych wards. never! I haven't figured out when i'll do it, but I know it will be within the next week, perhaps the next few days, or hours. I at least have to wait until my husband comes home. I won't leave my daughter home alone. "He'll eventually realize he's better off without me..." a quote from my journal. I'm only doing the people closest to me a favor. they will find some one better(much more normal at least) to replace." no sence in crying over spilt milk" I'm the mild and I'm ready to spill!!!!


Well-Known Member
Please don't kill yourself at least not yet. I know you think that they'll be better off without you but this is so very much not the case, and your little girl will be traumatised for life, she might grow up thinking she should follow in her mother's footsteps.

I'm sure there are things you haven't tried yet different meds or therapies, personally I've just volunteered for ECT, sounds crazy I know, but it's actually much safer than people think, and I know that I can't kill myself as much as I might want to. My only choice is to get well and so that is what is going to happen.

Please get well for the sake of your daughter and of your husband.
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