drinking with the aim of escaping

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Evrythngphkd, Sep 18, 2012.

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  1. Evrythngphkd

    Evrythngphkd New Member

    i am not an alcoholic but i feel i could be and i don't even care, sometimes i think i want to be, just like sometimes for whatever reason i want to steal/get locked up / crash my car/ run away etc

    anyway when i drink i drink in search of complete oblivion , i do not want to be feeling anything related to my current life, but i have started worrying about the health effects. like shakes/shivering/stomach area pains/ weird feeling around heart

    drinking a small amount seems pointless to me

    not drinking means leaving my current so called friends

    i have noticed i want to drink random times like week nights , or mornings , because life is boring, why not get drunk (by the way i do not do this, i just want to)

    i want to binge and get/be wasted all the time, the only reason i dont is because of the long term health effects , the long term only exist if i somehow find happiness , otherwise i cannot be bothered carrying on, when i am sober i am not happy
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    When you are drunk you are not happy either you are just hiding your true feeling hugs
  3. MrsStavrogin

    MrsStavrogin Active Member

    You say you want to drink to oblivion, but you worry about the health effects? Why would you want to drink to oblivion if you care about yourself enough to worry about the health effects? Drinking WILL destroy your body and mind as time goes by, you can be sure of it. I binge drink only when I think that I'll kill myself at any moment. But that stopped to make sense as well, because I realised that if I'm going to do it, there's no point in prolonging life with alcohol.
  4. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    I also drink to get drunk now and then and don't see the point in a small quantity. I don't do it that often though and not at all right now because of the meds I'm on. But I understand where you're coming from. My GP even said to me after my second suicide attempt a long time ago, 'Just get drunk like everyone else does, next time you want to kill yourself, OK?" I don't think my pdoc at the time much liked him advising his young, nondrinking patient to abuse alcohol as a solution and may have even called and complained to him about it. But I still take his advice sometimes, lol. It never works as a long term solution to depression though. It just makes it worse. It doesn't make me happy, just numb but then so do the antidepressants. The Parnate is numbing the worst of my agonizing feelings to the point where they are more tolerable. That's all that it's doing at the moment.
  5. Zipporah29

    Zipporah29 Member

    I'm approaching alcoholism. There, I just admitted it. I often start in the morning, right after my fiance leaves for work. I'm not sure why I do this. It began as a mixture of escapism, a way to deal with social anxiety, and an aid to creativity, but became some sort of self-destructive thing that I seem to want to indulge in.
    But my depression and anxiety have worsened tenfold since all this began and I can see that what it is, is a trap. My GP told me to stop it. I'm trying. I don't need the depression and anxiety any worse than they already are - hah.
  6. arrowpenny

    arrowpenny Member

    I drink as well to numb the pain. Sometimes I start in the morning and drink throughout the day. I had 2 bfs kill themselves and I just cant deal with that.
  7. Zipporah29

    Zipporah29 Member

    That's awful. Sorry to hear it.
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