Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Elle., Sep 29, 2009.

  1. Elle.

    Elle. Well-Known Member

    I've been drinking again.. stole some alc from my moms stash in the garage^^

    I knwo it's not right etc. but I just needed it.. I feel so very low at the moment and alcohol make sme forget about all that.. It makes everything seem less important for a while. I don't know what it is exactly but it feels bette rthan being sober ^^

    I know drinking on your own is very lame, but I actually enjoy it more alone, this way I can't do or say stupid things... this msg not included

    I want to SI I have nothing to stop me but my conscience. I don't knwo whether that will do this time..
  2. Tastelikeblood

    Tastelikeblood Well-Known Member

    Alcohol is one of the things that give me release too man. It does feel good! Drinking alone isn't lame to me, I like to drink and play my PS3 lol. I dont know what SI means though?
  3. Tastelikeblood

    Tastelikeblood Well-Known Member

    I just looked it up lol I thought that's what it meant but I didn't want to assume. You don't need to do that bro you don't need to, do something you like to do instead. What do you like to do?
  4. Elle.

    Elle. Well-Known Member

    hah first off I lov ethe way you talk.. second I'm a girl I dno if you realised but ye

    anyway It's not good, I know :-( the thinks I like to do are there for me always but it won't give me the same effect..... It's really difficult to explain but it makes me forget what's going on at the time.. It's like a distraction.. I know it seems freaky, I used to think so as well, but it's what works for me somehow..

    Drinking is another alternative, but that makes it easier for me to give in to the temptation to SI when I really feel like it. When I don't, drinking is a perfect way to distratc me from bad things..

    I probably didn't really make sense but well. :)

    How are you anyway ?
  5. Tastelikeblood

    Tastelikeblood Well-Known Member

    Hehe well thanks and no I didn't realize you were a girl lol.

    I know where your coming from I cut myself once, at the time I was all "Yeah ima cut myself cuz I want to feel pain." Which I look back and realize it didn't didn't do anything for me in the long run but give me scars. I would never think to cut myself again because I saw this. At least you know it's not good, this was when I was 16 or something? I'm 23 now. I still have one big scar from then.

    Yeah drinking reduces pain and makes you not care about things as much and you're more impulsive. If you're going to drink just keep your head level knowing your under the influence and don't let it ruin your better judgement. You don't need to cut yourself you just think you need to. If I was there I wouldn't let you do it and you would love me for it in the end. :)
  6. Elle.

    Elle. Well-Known Member

    To be honest I already love you for your reply :)

    You're right, and I know I don't 'need' to hurt myself.. im 17 and I've got so much going for me.. but I just get these huge urges and I just feel like doing it so much that I can't stop myself.. afterwards I end up feeling so stupid of course..

    I do know what I'm doing wth drinking aswell as with cutting. I never cut deep enough to leave a visible enough scar and if I do, It'll be somehwer ethe skin 'folds' naturally so that the scars won't show as much.. As for drinking.. I know how much I drink and how much I can handle so I guess that's good.. It just gives me this little adrenaline and happiness boost I can really use sometimes....

    If you wnna talk some more u can always add me on msn wire.to.wire@hotmail.com

    I always find it eaie to talk that way but that's just me :)
  7. Tastelikeblood

    Tastelikeblood Well-Known Member

    Lol you sound just like me with the "happiness boost" about drinking. That is my favorite drug, I just gotta know when it gets too consistent. I come home and drink a beer and keep going back to get another one EVERYDAY lol. I know exactly how much to drink to get to that peak point where I feel perfect! I don't consider myself an alcoholic though even though by the last few sentences it sounds that way lol.

    We both know we got things going for us at least. I don't have access to any kind of chat service while i'm at work so I can't :/ but chat is easier. I'm glad I found a friend on here you're just what I needed. In the meantime don't cut yourself. :mortdesinos:
  8. Elle.

    Elle. Well-Known Member

    okay hat's very nice to know, I'm very glad you reated to my post :) I won't cut an you can feel proud to be the cause of that ;-) You have some good influence I'm happy to have met you..