It's happened again, right now I can't deal with the verbal abuse she likes to give me. It changes me. I was ok right before she started it. Now I feel nervous, panicky & unhappy.... very unhappy... extemely unhappy... deathly unhappy. My atitude changed from ok to bad very quickly and as much control as I have I can't leave the bad...,. can't go back to ok. I regret ever being born. It does not help that she swallowed a small amount of hydrogen peroxide and went on about how I'm an idiot because poison control did not put thier phone # on the bottle of peroxide. Meanwhile I know a serious reaction: uncontrolled vomiting, passing out/falling over or crying/screamin in pain. None of that went on. When I got poison control on the phone they said it was nothing. They said to drink water. So I'm to blame for her stupidity(she is on valium, in the bathroom where there is no light on & she just grabbed what looked like a bottle of water to her-possibly to swallow more pills-then spit most of the peroxide out)??? I can't go on like this. I'm tired of her, far too tired to go on living. Not like this. :sad: And I can't stop considering every possible method that I currently have at my disposal.