So I am currently undergoing a PTSD stabilisation course via talking therapies, While the information given is great, its not really practical. I was on a dose of 225 venlafaxine, but after 9-ish months I don't feel any better, I just feel more leveled out at a really depressed level. Against advisement from my doctor (I refused a prescription for 1-2 weeks worth of reducing doses, I was not happy to pay £10 for a week of medication at most) I went cold turkey. Having been through the withdrawal before I knew iI could do it again.
This heat has been brutal and I live on the top floor of a block of flats. Inside, I have hit temperatures of nearly 40 celsius. This time its been brutal. 10 weeks ago I asked my doctor to refer me to CMHT (community mental health team) so that I can get on the right medication plan, and actually make some progress again. After a month I had not heard anything so my doctor chased up for me. Last week after a scheduled appointment (where after discussing, and agreed to stop my medication) I decided I had wasted her time enough already, there was nothing more she could do, so i won't be getting any more scheduled calls from her.
Yesterday I finally thought I would chase up CMHT. I finally got through to them, and they informed me I was not on their system. So I contacted my docttor surgery, to find out whats going on because my doctor hadd made a referral. They got someone to look into it and found out that cmht had dropped me because I was already receiving treatment from talking therapies.
Talking therapies were the ones who suggested it would be good to get a referral in so that once their help ended I should be somewhere with CMHT. The two services can work together, and the only one that can't work with the CMHT is the crisis resolution and home treatment team. In which case talking therapies would be canceled. My doctor had been chasing it weekly for me, and hadn't even been informed they had dropped it. This course ends in 2 weeks. I have no medication, I have no scheduled appointments with my doctor, and now no referral.
I am feeling really lost, and hopeless, and its reinforcing the thought that I am not worth anyones time. That I don't deserve this help. This time I made the effort andd got myself referred to all the services I should be in contact with, I put in the effort and got it all done. I did everything right. I did what I should have and all i have to show for it is a deeper feeling of despair and depression for it. At what point should I just realise that I am just never going to get the help that I need.
I keep telling myself I am doing this for my daughter, but somedays it doesn't feel like a battle worth fighting
This heat has been brutal and I live on the top floor of a block of flats. Inside, I have hit temperatures of nearly 40 celsius. This time its been brutal. 10 weeks ago I asked my doctor to refer me to CMHT (community mental health team) so that I can get on the right medication plan, and actually make some progress again. After a month I had not heard anything so my doctor chased up for me. Last week after a scheduled appointment (where after discussing, and agreed to stop my medication) I decided I had wasted her time enough already, there was nothing more she could do, so i won't be getting any more scheduled calls from her.
Yesterday I finally thought I would chase up CMHT. I finally got through to them, and they informed me I was not on their system. So I contacted my docttor surgery, to find out whats going on because my doctor hadd made a referral. They got someone to look into it and found out that cmht had dropped me because I was already receiving treatment from talking therapies.
Talking therapies were the ones who suggested it would be good to get a referral in so that once their help ended I should be somewhere with CMHT. The two services can work together, and the only one that can't work with the CMHT is the crisis resolution and home treatment team. In which case talking therapies would be canceled. My doctor had been chasing it weekly for me, and hadn't even been informed they had dropped it. This course ends in 2 weeks. I have no medication, I have no scheduled appointments with my doctor, and now no referral.
I am feeling really lost, and hopeless, and its reinforcing the thought that I am not worth anyones time. That I don't deserve this help. This time I made the effort andd got myself referred to all the services I should be in contact with, I put in the effort and got it all done. I did everything right. I did what I should have and all i have to show for it is a deeper feeling of despair and depression for it. At what point should I just realise that I am just never going to get the help that I need.
I keep telling myself I am doing this for my daughter, but somedays it doesn't feel like a battle worth fighting