drove by my ex's house. she's married now

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jondoe7, Apr 10, 2010.

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  1. jondoe7

    jondoe7 Member

    we broke up six years ago. just found out she and her husband moved. they live less than 3 miles from me now. will be hard to resist spying on her now . she used to live about 15 miles away so never bothered to do that 'cause it was so friggin far. but now... want so badly just to see her, even from afar. the short time we were together are my only precious memories. but like everyone else she disgarded me

    would also like to get a glimpse of this bastard that's living my dream(they've been together for 4.5 years now. still not over her nor will i ever be. had maybe 5 or 6 dates in the last 6 years. turned 50 last week. eyes filled with tears now.

    never knew joy in this life. will die just like i've lived life.....alone........i'll always love you pattie,
  2. nimbus

    nimbus Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you are hurting. I feel the same way about someone.
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    it's hard when you love someone and they've moved on...
    I still love me ex (partner- not husband) but just can't live with him....to much friction...
    it hurt like hell when he got a new partner.....when he lived closer I checked up on him all the time but looking back it made things worse for me and just wasted so much of my life.....
    I can't believe i was a stalker....
    I moved away and am able to live my life without him....
    in fact I like being single.....not much older than you either.....
    I hope you can resist checking on her..will only cause you more pain...
    take care..

    bye the way...happy 50th birthday for last week...
  4. jondoe7

    jondoe7 Member

    thanks for understanding

    "one year of love is better than a lifetime alone" - freddy mercury
  5. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry...
    I know that feeling-- where everything around you keep changing; but you're stuck. It might never go away. I hope that it does-- but kind of doubt that it can...
  6. JennMedic

    JennMedic Member

    Im sorry you are having such a hard time. I can relate as well. I just ended a 9 year relationship. It's been a hard breakup and he only lives a few miles from me. I don't know what I will do If I ever see him with another girl, so sad just thinking of it. He was a soulmate and I pushed him away. I hope you can fight the urge b/c it will only make you feel worse if you think and focus on it all the time. :( Again, sorry
  7. jondoe7

    jondoe7 Member

    yep, already feel worse. wish i never discovered they moved so nearby. i don't even think her friggin husband is currently working. and to think i always thought i was to much of a loser to be with her. (she has a great, high paying job/career.)

    my biggest regret was when i got dumped so long ago i never tried to immediatly get her back. i'm so used to being dumped i accepted it. i later learned she broke up with this guy before they were married. he wouldnt take no for an answer and wore her down with his persistance.

    i didnt do that. i tried way, way after the break up but her feelings for me dissapated so long after we were together. if i had done what he did we might have still been together.

    thought i was over the tears that she brought on. now with her so close its just too easy to swing by and try to get a look at the girl that i have thought about everyday for 6 years.

    since no one knows who i am on this board i will admit something very pathetic...i cried for 4 years. everyday for 4 years, EVERYDAY! year 5 the crying started to taper. year 6 it had stopped completely though i look at her picture on classmates everyday

    she was truly my dreamgirl. you know how when you think of who you have dated in the past. and you compare them all. she was head of the class. loved everything about her. her bubbly personality, her physical beauty. even her choice of nail polish.

    i often feel God threw me a bone and decreed "you will always be alone so for the last time i will throw you this dreamgirl for a short while just so when i leave earth i will be able to look back on life and say for one short time i was with agirl that i just ADORED"! i suppose some people have gone through life without ever having passion with anyone. EVER.

    cant sleep. thanks for letting me ramble
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 10, 2010
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What you said isn't pathetic at all. :hug: I'm sorry you're in so much pain.
  9. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I've been married [to the first girl I ever kissed] for almost 38 years. A couple of months ago, she went to be with her mother for 2 weeks, and I came close to ending my life during that time. Loneliness and being left behind is really hard to deal with.

    After I told my wife something that I'd kept secret for 30+ years, I cried for a couple of years. Tears are therapeutic. I don't cry as much anymore, though there are times that I wish I could. Your tears might be what will help you heal and find life after loss. Let the healing begin.

    I'm sorry for the pain you've been feeling for so long. I suspect that everyone here understands living with pain. And it doesn't work to tell yourself to get over it. You might be able to move on, in time, but in the meantime, it's just tough.

    As others have said, driving by to see her could be counter-productive. Do you have the strength to make the choice not to stalk? I don't know that stalk is the right word, but I can't come up with a better one. [Depression and lots of meds have made it hard for me to come up with the right word sometimes.] At first, at least, it will certainly take determination not to drive by her place. Take it a day at a time, and take it easy on yourself.

  10. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    Thanks for sharing this with us. I don't think it is pathetic at all what you said. I cry a whole lot as well, sometimes everyday. I can relate to how you feel over this girl.
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