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Drowning again, can barely see any light

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Jul 9, 2016.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Yay, so im drowning again, led weights attached to my legs pulling me down and no matter how hard i try im still going down. I look up, holding my breath and looking at the last few rays of light that are able to penetrate the water, im trying to stay positive but all i can think about is that i cant breath.

    Its been a long and a very depressing week, i got a new job and the pressure is insane.
    I work with this old dude that teaches me on how to do my work, which is ok except that this old dude is super negative, and grumpy. He doesnt care if i learn or not, or if ill be able to do my job or not, he only does it because the boss asked him to do it. It is so hard to work with him, i hate him.
    Also most of the other workers are very grumpy and negative as well about this work place.

    I would of left this job but i got so much financial pressure, and my parents will react very badly if i leave this job. Maybe i should just leave it.

    But i dont know if its my depression that makes me feel so bad or is it the job that makes me feel so bad?
    Im anxious about leaving the job as im not sure about how will i survive with all the debts i have :\
  2. Huw

    Huw Well-Known Member

    Work is drudgery for most people and most people are stuck in their jobs for one reason or another. Remember as a kid you wanted to grow up and earn money? You've arrived and this is reality. Stick at it and ignore, as far as possible, the moans and groans going on around you.
    Try not to leave until you have another offer of work. One thing I'd do if people were annoying me is wear ear plugs. It might be difficult when you're being trained, but when you can fulfill the tasks required it might be possible. As far as anyone else is concerned you are just protecting your ears.
    Switch off to whats going on around you and set yourself speed goals to do the tasks. It's great fun breaking your own records and the time just flies.

    I hope some of this might help. If not just sack me!
    Petal likes this.
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